On Money and Value: micro-blog from Desteni universe

#ACTIONSHOT

I've moved into Joe's old room in the Main House on the farm now that all the people I once lived with are in Panama.

Ghost seems to love these floor to ceiling windows we now have, as he can keep up to date with the outside world from his favourite spot on the bed!

I took this picture from my spot in front of the computer during a work shift. I have been working an online job pretty much full-time, saving up to get Ghost and I to Panama, and this situation got me thinking about money and value.

I caught myself a few times looking at the cost of bringing Ghost to Panama, and trying to fit him into some kind of value system, not realizing that I had, over my lifetime, developed a money-based value system where I will ask myself 'is it worth it', or 'is it worth the money', where 'the money' was holding the intrinsic value, and the thing I am paying for has to prove it is worth it.

I would become stressed, with 'lack' and 'survival' creeping into my thoughts when I looked at it this way, with the thought of 'losing' or spending that money, even going so far as to look at Ghost and consider if he brings that amount of value to my life! I quickly caught myself, seeing that this line of thinking is what contributes to the way the world is today, where 'value' either becomes the amount of self-interest one can derive from a particular thing, and then translating that value into dollars and cents, or money itself having an intrinsic value, when it is in fact small pieces of paper that we have elevated to 'god-hood'.

So I shifted my perspective to 'this is what I have decided to do', with the money now taking a different position, more like a secondary place as the tool or the facilitator I must use to see my decision through and accomplish my goal. Ghost came into my life, and that wasn't exactly my decision, but I did decide to take responsibility for him, and in weighing all the options, decided that it would be best for him to come with us to Panama.

In this, the decision and goal becomes the Main point of value, where it's no longer about 'losing' money, but about 'gaining' or obtaining/accomplishing the goal. When I looked at it this way, I felt as though I had become 'richer' in a way - the situation becomes one of benefit rather than loss.

This realization had me reflecting back on all the times I didn't do a thing, or thought something to be 'too expensive,' and in this thinking have compromised myself and my life so many times because of the value I had placed primarily on money and self-interest (as feelings and emotions), instead of placing that value on Self and Life creation.

I cannot place a value or dollar amount on Ghost, he simply 'is', Here, existing. So my decision remains whether it is feasible or not based on market prices, and the time and energy I am willing to put in to work for the money - looking only at whether I can practically afford it or not.

Now I will include this into my understanding of money, how I work with money, and how I live the word 'money' in my life, where it becomes the means to an end rather than an end in and of itself.

I have for too long deprived myself of important, essential things, and spent too much on fueling energy, programming and self-interest because of and due to this twisted system of value I wasn't even completely aware of. Now that I see it more clearly, it's time to stop and sort it out so that I can move forward spending money on things of ACTUAL value that will contribute to support, growth and development, within reason, practicality and common sense.

Day 4- Putting Others Out - Am I Worthy?

Today I had to run all over the city collecting receipts for income tax purposes because the lady at H&RBlock told me I could get money back if I had saved them. But I found when I set out today that I had resistances to going to all the places to ask them to dig up my file and reprint my receipts. I had resistances to this because I was going to have to ask them to do me a favour. I didn’t have anything to offer them in return except a ‘thank you,’ so it’s like, kind of a self-worth thing because I didn’t feel worthy of them having to put themselves out to do me that favour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unworthy of someone else’s time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within a pattern of inferiority when I need something from another, such as a favour, because that means I cannot ‘do it on my own’ which I have equated to strength.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate ‘strength’ to doing everything by myself, and using that as an excuse to not have to face the fact that I go into inferiority when I have to ask for help. In other words, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid facing my accepted and allowed pattern of inferiority by creating the belief that it’s ‘weak’ to ask for help, and ‘strong’ to do it on one’s own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear asking for help due to my self-judgment that it is weak to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs to use to sabotage myself through avoidance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and integrate into myself, the belief that it is weak to ask for help or a favour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that I am less-than those that are able to help me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘vulnerable’ when I have to ask for help or a favour because it places another in a position to deny me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when I am denied that which I want or need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that when I am denied something, it is because I am not worthy of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the inferiority I allow myself to participate in onto people and situations wherein I am denied something I want or need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe or perceive that when people choose not to help me out it’s because they don’t like me, or don’t like the sight of me or because I am not worthy.

I accept and allow myself to value myself as worthy simply because I  exist as Life, equal to all Life, as all Life has equal worth.

I accept and allow myself to be and become worthy and worthiness as the value that I am as Life.

When I see myself going into inferiority, specifically when I have to ask for help, assistance or a favour, I stop, and I breathe. I stand up as myself as self-worth within the understanding and realization that I am of equal worth to all Life, and it cannot be otherwise. And if I see myself reacting to someone wherein I project that I am ‘putting them out’ because they seem irritate or angry, I bring myself back to awareness within the realization that they too are my equal, and equal to all that is here as well.