Daily Osho Card Reading - Day 21 of 21: THE SOURCE

"When we speak of being "grounded" or "centered" it is this Source we are talking about. When we begin a creative project, it is this Source that we tune in to. This card reminds us that there is a vast reservoir of energy available to us. And that we tap into it not by thinking and planning but by getting grounded, centered, and silent enough to be in contact with the Source. It is within each of us, like a personal, individual sun giving us life and nourishment. Pure energy, pulsating, available, it is ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something, and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest. So whether you are beginning something new and need inspiration right now, or you've just finished something and want to rest, go to the Source. It's always waiting for you, and you don't even have to step out of your house to find it."

This is very cool timing for this card, as I am about to begin a complex project that I have been slightly resisting, yet at the same time preparing myself for, now feeling nothing but ready for it. The tendency I noticed is to look at a large task and become overwhelmed by it's complexity and enormity, bringing all of it right here and placing potentially hundreds of hours of work in my mind as if I will have to experience it all at once.

The thing about long-term projects or big tasks is that they can only happen one step at a time. So bringing in any extra steps, potentialities, projections etc... is really of no use. The image on the card represents this quite well, where there is a strong and defined focal point, and on the outside there are snake-like forms, almost resembling sperm, looking like they are trying to penetrate that core in order to plant the seeds of distraction, resistance, thoughts, ideas and beliefs.

Within the card's description I am seeing the process of developing focus, stability and groundedness within and through pushing and practicing tapping into the 'source' of self, that life essence that brings passion and motivation. This reminds me of a recording done on EQAFE, called Recognizing Your Life Signature, explaining how to practice this point of nurturing and growing that life thread or essence, as it is something that has to be practiced in, applied in awareness, and does not just come to us 'naturally' due to the nature and relationship we have developed with our minds.

Practicing in one's life essence, or in other words 'tapping into source', is something rather new to me, something that requires a process walked in awareness in order to discover for self, step-by-step. I can see that I am right now primed for it, I feel it, I see the first steps, and now it is a matter of pushing forward to dive in and do it.

I have been dancing around this point for a while, seeing that I am ready but instead of diving in, doing all the little tasks around the point, still 'preparing', 'setting myself up to begin', until finally, there is nothing standing in between me and just getting started. I had a few false starts already, but have since corrected them and re-aligned my starting point. I also see the tendency of the mind to now create more distractions, entertainments, other 'feel good' experiences to place between myself and really getting down to doing something for real.

So now, there is nothing more I need to do but to get started, tap into that source to make this project a life project within which I get to discover parts of myself that I have not yet dared venture into before. A new process, a new path of creation, another step in my process of eternal self-discovery and birthing myself here as life in the physical. I am ready.

Day 111- Fully Committing to my Studies (pt. 3)

This blog is continued from the specific self-forgiveness statements made in my last blog wherein I took on the specific fears that I hold in my mind in relation to ‘getting out of doing the work’, and how I use them to justify not doing homework assignments (and many things in life, but focusing here specifically on my studies, as that is what I am currently confronting). My goal is to work through my assignment, step by step, without all the unnecessary ‘mind-babble,’ or ‘mind-noise’ that distracts me, frustrates me and ‘causes’ me to procrastinate and stress out, instead of just remaining Here and fully applying myself within my work.

So, to check out the blog from which the following statements are directly related, click here.

I commit myself to, when and as I see that I am creating and manifesting the fear that I will not understand the assignment, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to presence and awareness by reminding myself that I do not have o participate in this fear and can simply let it go, because I see, realize and understand that if I were to participate in the fear, it will lead to the fear of not doing my work well, then to the fear of being judged by the teacher, which leads me to contemplate giving up before I even start, which makes it more difficult to start which then leads to procrastination, which leads to rushed work, which causes stress, which leads to poor work. Within this, I see how my decision to follow even one thought, as a fear in this instance, can lead to an entire ‘cascade’ of thoughts and fears which create resistances within me, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that by slowing the mind down, I can ‘catch’ the thought when and as it arises, and then give myself that opportunity to make the self-directed decision to not follow it, in which case, I simply breathe myself out of the mind and into the body, and continue reading/working on my assignment uninterrupted.

I commit myself to stop creating self-limiting fears within and as me, by slowly learning, practicing and becoming aware of the fears as they arise in one single thought, and stopping them there where it’s most simple and easy for me to do so (instead of accepting/allowing myself to ’build it up’ into an entire ‘cascade’ or ‘entity’ that then directs me as fear instead of me directing myself Here, as Who I Am as presence and awareness, as diligence and discipline, as patience and self-understanding). Within this:

I commit myself to stop myself from accepting and allowing the self-limiting fears to exist/grow within and as me by stopping myself from continuously bringing p past memories of past moments where I did not understand the assignment and so I did it wrong and failed, or feared to fail, wherein I will in my mind, take quick glimpses of that memory as a ‘reminder’ to myself of the fears I have participated in in the past, thus bringing forth that past energetic experience into the present moment as if it were Here with me as my reality, when in fact I can clearly see, realize and understand that my reality is the present moment and thus subject to my self-direction, in which case I can direct myself to change my behavior and NOT re-live/repeat past instances of failure or fear of failure, but rather live each moment as a new moment, wherein I can apply myself to be/become that which I wish to be and become.

I commit myself to simply let go of the old memories that I hang on to which do not serve me in any way whatsoever, by constantly and continuously, diligently and patiently, and within self-discipline and self-understanding, keep bringing myself back to the present moment using the tool of breath, human physical breath that takes place moment to moment, a new breath for each new moment, as breaths cannot be recycled, held onto or re-used, and so I will also live to a certain extent, wherein I will myself to direct each moment as Who I Am Here, instead of by who I was ‘before’ or what I fear.

When and as I see that I am ‘glimpsing’ old memories by accepting/allowing them to seemingly ‘pop’ up randomly I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to the present moment by becoming aware of the fact that I am re-living past memories by identifying them by the feeling or emotional experience they create within/as me; by stopping and deleting them by saying delete out loud or disintegrating them in my mind, I breathe through the emotional or energetic experience they (I) created within me as me, and then take back my self-directive principle by reminding myself that I am at the wheel here, I decide, I direct me. Then I direct myself to either: focus back on the work, take a quick stretch, or breathe for a moment, and then return to my studies.

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To be continued…