Day 111- Fully Committing to my Studies (pt. 3)

This blog is continued from the specific self-forgiveness statements made in my last blog wherein I took on the specific fears that I hold in my mind in relation to ‘getting out of doing the work’, and how I use them to justify not doing homework assignments (and many things in life, but focusing here specifically on my studies, as that is what I am currently confronting). My goal is to work through my assignment, step by step, without all the unnecessary ‘mind-babble,’ or ‘mind-noise’ that distracts me, frustrates me and ‘causes’ me to procrastinate and stress out, instead of just remaining Here and fully applying myself within my work.

So, to check out the blog from which the following statements are directly related, click here.

I commit myself to, when and as I see that I am creating and manifesting the fear that I will not understand the assignment, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to presence and awareness by reminding myself that I do not have o participate in this fear and can simply let it go, because I see, realize and understand that if I were to participate in the fear, it will lead to the fear of not doing my work well, then to the fear of being judged by the teacher, which leads me to contemplate giving up before I even start, which makes it more difficult to start which then leads to procrastination, which leads to rushed work, which causes stress, which leads to poor work. Within this, I see how my decision to follow even one thought, as a fear in this instance, can lead to an entire ‘cascade’ of thoughts and fears which create resistances within me, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that by slowing the mind down, I can ‘catch’ the thought when and as it arises, and then give myself that opportunity to make the self-directed decision to not follow it, in which case, I simply breathe myself out of the mind and into the body, and continue reading/working on my assignment uninterrupted.

I commit myself to stop creating self-limiting fears within and as me, by slowly learning, practicing and becoming aware of the fears as they arise in one single thought, and stopping them there where it’s most simple and easy for me to do so (instead of accepting/allowing myself to ’build it up’ into an entire ‘cascade’ or ‘entity’ that then directs me as fear instead of me directing myself Here, as Who I Am as presence and awareness, as diligence and discipline, as patience and self-understanding). Within this:

I commit myself to stop myself from accepting and allowing the self-limiting fears to exist/grow within and as me by stopping myself from continuously bringing p past memories of past moments where I did not understand the assignment and so I did it wrong and failed, or feared to fail, wherein I will in my mind, take quick glimpses of that memory as a ‘reminder’ to myself of the fears I have participated in in the past, thus bringing forth that past energetic experience into the present moment as if it were Here with me as my reality, when in fact I can clearly see, realize and understand that my reality is the present moment and thus subject to my self-direction, in which case I can direct myself to change my behavior and NOT re-live/repeat past instances of failure or fear of failure, but rather live each moment as a new moment, wherein I can apply myself to be/become that which I wish to be and become.

I commit myself to simply let go of the old memories that I hang on to which do not serve me in any way whatsoever, by constantly and continuously, diligently and patiently, and within self-discipline and self-understanding, keep bringing myself back to the present moment using the tool of breath, human physical breath that takes place moment to moment, a new breath for each new moment, as breaths cannot be recycled, held onto or re-used, and so I will also live to a certain extent, wherein I will myself to direct each moment as Who I Am Here, instead of by who I was ‘before’ or what I fear.

When and as I see that I am ‘glimpsing’ old memories by accepting/allowing them to seemingly ‘pop’ up randomly I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to the present moment by becoming aware of the fact that I am re-living past memories by identifying them by the feeling or emotional experience they create within/as me; by stopping and deleting them by saying delete out loud or disintegrating them in my mind, I breathe through the emotional or energetic experience they (I) created within me as me, and then take back my self-directive principle by reminding myself that I am at the wheel here, I decide, I direct me. Then I direct myself to either: focus back on the work, take a quick stretch, or breathe for a moment, and then return to my studies.

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To be continued…

Day 107- Getting Out of the Work

I am using the tool of

self-forgiveness to work through the following experience:

“I’ve gotten to the point where I am able to move myself to go and actually set time for something and sit down to start it, but then, as I’m doing it, I “just start going crazy” within myself. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that. But I get super uncomfortable and distractible and preoccupied which I accept and allow to pull me away from the task at hand and prolong the time it takes to do it, instead of sitting down, focusing and working through it comfortably.”

In my previous blog I identified the tendency I have to make this an all-consuming experience, affecting many different dimensions of my beingness/awareness/ability to move myself. Thus it is a character I become, as ‘all of me’ is engaged in the experience. The character I identified in my previous blog was what I called the ‘underestimating character’, but upon further looking into it, I see that it’s more of a ‘getting out of work’ character, wherein, I will leave the assignment to last minute because I don’t ‘want’ to do the work.

Then, instead of having left myself enough time to do it, I will have to rush at the last minute and do it all at once. Eventually I ‘get into it’, but it takes a lot, and then I have to really skim and make it look like I had spent a lot of time doing it.

This was a ‘skill’ that got me through elementary and high school, but when I got into college, I could not get away with it, and I dropped out for this reason, among many others. Now, in university, it is impossible to pull this trick. This had made my university experience quite a reality check. Even when I got to the point of sitting down to do it, ,I would try to get out of it, manipulating myself and falling in the face of many resistances. It’s like, if I didn’t have that ‘last minute’ stress pushing me, I simply could not move myself to do the work. If I had two weeks to do it, I would complete it at the very end of that two weeks, if I had one day, I would get it done at the end of that day, and if I had six months, I wouldn’t look at it for five months.

Now I am doing my classes online, so I have to rely on myself completely to manage my time. I have done pretty well with writing about this and pushing myself, but I have still not gotten to the point of simply sitting down and moving myself, breath by breath, through the work. Trying to ‘get out’ of the work had become so ingrained in me as a survival technique throughout my entire academic career, that when it came to a time where I actually wanted to learn and do the work well, I simply did not have the tools such as discipline, focus, time-management and self-movement to do so. So here I am taking on the ‘getting out of the work’ character, because enough is enough, I can no longer accept nor allow this behavior to continue.

So, herein, I will be looking at all the dimensions of a ‘character’, which are the thought, fear, imagination, reaction and physical dimensions, beginning with thought:

Getting Out of Work; Thought Dimension:

1) A picture of me sitting at my desk in front of an assignment drawing a complete blank.

2) The thought that there’s a whole big action packed world ‘out there’ that I’m missing out on, and that the work I have to do is so slow and boring and pointless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and manifest this thought of sitting in front of an assignment and drawing a blank, as a form of self-sabotage, based on past memories of being a student in elementary, high school and college, wherein I would daydream and doodle all day long in class, ‘enduring’ class, so that when I got homework and assignments to do at home, I literally had no idea what I was supposed to do, and would sit in front of it and feel as though it were an impossible task, and give up, or just do some bare minimum work and hope for the best, in which case I would get a bad grade. Within this:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that I now DO pay attention in class, and I do know what’s going on, and instead of applying what I learned in class and have read in the material, I go into the ‘getting out of work’ character as a survival mechanism, within the assumption that I am incapable of doing the work, and going into the ‘getting out of the work’ character as a survival mode technique, creating and manifesting stress and anxiety within me, wherein I can’t focus and end up easily distracted and unable to absorb and synthesize all the information, thus creating the exact thing I’m trying to avoid, which is: sitting in front of my work, drawing a blank.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to validate and perpetuate the ‘getting out of the work’ character, by conjuring up thoughts that CONvince me that I’m only going to draw blanks, which I then believe and follow by participating in them through giving them my attention and energy, thus actually making it real in fact.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought of ‘me sitting down at my desk in front of an assignment drawing a blank’ to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to further sabotage my application of myself by thinking that there’s a whole big action packed world out there that I’m missing out on, and that the work I’m directing myself to do is so slow and boring and pointless, which triggers the ‘getting out of work’ character in which I will put it off and then try to do quickly all at once right before the deadline.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to read through material really quickly, looking for key words, and then only reading the parts that I think are relevant to the questions I have to answer or the part I need to research. I understand that there is a certain amount of skimming I have to do, but self-directed skimming where I am grasping concepts and strategically focusing more on some parts and not others is different from frantically trying to get through it as fast as possible and ‘find the answer’ immediately in an attempt to ‘get it over with’, which is NOT acceptable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to read frantically through my texts in an attempt to get through it as fast as possible and ‘find the answer’ in an attempt to get it over with, instead of slowing myself down and reading with patience and focus, allowing myself to absorb the concepts the author is trying to convey, in order to integrate the information into my understanding in such a way that I can convey it in my own words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participating in the thought of there being ‘a whole action packed world out there’ filling me with an energetic pull or desire to go ‘out there’ and see it, while at the same time, participating in the thought that my work is so boring and slow and pointless, instead of stopping the thought as it comes by instead taking a breath and continuing to read.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place judgments on the work at hand, such as work being ‘bad and boring’ and not working being ‘good and fun’, wherein I create all sorts of energies within me, instead of stopping my judgments and moving myself to do that which I decide I am going to do in a given moment, and simply moving myself to do it as the directive decision of what I am going to occupy my time with in that given moment. No judgment is necessary to do this, in fact, the judgments placed upon the work create unnecessary relationships that cause me to become frustrated and easily distracted within myself.

Self-commitment and self-corrective application statements to follow…

Day 106- I Just Go Crazy

I’ve gotten to the point where I am able to move myself to go and actually set time for something and sit down to start it, but then, as I’m doing it, I “just start going crazy” within myself. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that. But I get super uncomfortable and distractible and preoccupied which I accept and allow to pull me away from the task at hand and prolong the time it takes to do it, instead of sitting down, focusing and working through it comfortably.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself from focusing on a project/assignment by following my mind into distractions/preoccupations/resistances which create the experience of powerlessness and thus the experience of ‘going crazy’, as if it were something beyond my control and being done ‘unto’ me, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it is an experience that builds up over time, starting with my participation in future projections of what I think/believe/perceive that work will be like, within the want/need/desire for it to be easy.
I

 forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and manifest the energetic experience of uncomfortability, distractibility, and preoccupation based on my mind, instead of focusing Here, in breathe, as presence and awareness as I move myself physically through the assignment/work/project, at the physical pace at which understanding and information absorption and application takes place.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pull myself away from the task I am doing, by following the mind instead of breathing Here, breathing through the consequences I have created for myself, and changing self in order to not create them again.

Today in a conversation it was pointed out to me that there is an underlying character, beneath the ‘self-movement’ point I had been working on, which happens over and over again and sabotages me from achieving effective self-movement, which is extremely frustrating, and which fuels the experience of ‘going crazy’.

What I see within this point is that I’m accepting and allowing all these things to direct and move me, anything except to just be here with me, doing my work. Since I was little I remember looking at schoolwork all at once, and instead of breaking it up and doing it bit by bit, I would just get overwhelmed and think “I can’t do all that” “I can’t understand that because look, I don’t understand that right now”. So here is an obvious lack of consideration for all the small steps that need to take place to work through it.

Tonight for example, I had an assignment. I Already visualized myself done the assignment and in that scenario I projected- it was easy. And I was done quick. In reality, it wasn’t ‘hard’ per se, it just took a lot of focus and actual work and it took almost 4 hours. I ‘ve noticed I would visualize an assignment as being easy and done quickly, and then go to do the assignment, and try to live that experience wherein I would just skim through and do the bare minimum. However now I am more focused on putting my all in to it and reaching the highest standards I practically can. But I’m not able to do as well as I know I could because then I sit down and draw it out super inefficiently and it creates this whole relationship towards it wherein I feel like I’m ‘going crazy’.

For example, the assignment that took almost 4 hours, I could have reasonably done it in less time, but I kept getting up and moving around and becoming distracted. I understand that I cannot just sit there and plow through it completely focused for hours, that I need to take breaks every now and again. But, the point is to have those breaks be self-directed, wherein, I would direct myself to work on the project for, say 45 minutes, and then take a fifteen minute break, and continue like that until the assignment is done.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become distracted when I set myself up to sit down and focus.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become directed by my mind of energy in moments where I find the work I am doing to be ‘more difficult’ than I had imagined.

I will approach this as a character, identified as the ‘Underestimating’ character, because of the fact that I kno I can do the work, and I know I can do it well so long as I apply myself. But it’s the projection of the work being easy that messes with my application. Whenever I finish an assignment I look back at the work and think, “well, that wasn’t so hard”. However, when I was doing the assignment, especially in the beginning stages, I felt like I was climbing a mountain when I was expecting a molehill. The Underestimating character will be the focus of my blogs till I am confident that I have walked it through and understand it in it’s entirety.

Day 40- Fidgetiness While Studying

When I study I tend to get so fidgety that it starts to distract me. It’s like my hands have to wander all over the place all the time, or else I feel antsy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become fidgety while I study.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect studying to fidgetiness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become antsy while studying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect fidgetiness with feeling antsy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to relieve the internal energetic experience of ‘antsy’ by fidgeting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe fidgeting relieves me of feeling antsy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be and become antsy while studying because I would rather be doing something else.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand studying as a priority at certain times, and that I must commit fully to studying fully, with m full attention and awareness so that I may study effectively and thus get through it faster so that I can do other things as well.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think ‘I don’t like studying,’ ‘I hate studying,’ ‘I’d rather be participating in life,’ studying is no life, instead of simply studying within and as breath and thus be Life myself while I study, and realize studying is an activity which I must walk through because of the decision/commitment I have made.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive studying as endless when I’m in the first half of the material, wherein I begin to fear I will never get through it all, I’m not making enough progress, and then I speed up and fear I’m missing some material and am not being detailed emough.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the fears that I will not get through all the material, that I progress too slowly and I wont have time, or that I’m missing material or not absorbing it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the feeling of endlessness to studying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘not enough time’ to studying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the feeling of endlessness’ and ‘not enough time’ to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to grow frustrated while I study, instead of realizing that I am participating in back chat which is making me stress out about studying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself toparticipate in backchat while I study.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to remain present and aware while I study, keeping track of the relevant parts of the material, keeping track of how much time I have to spend on each section, adjusting myself, and moving through the material efficiently and effectively.

I commit myself to build the presence to be able to remain present, aware and focused throughout any task I am doing.

I commit myself to pushing myself to become effective at anything I do, within a consideration of the practical limitations of reality.

I commit myself to fully apply myself until I am done with my schooling, as well as with any task I commit myself to.

When and as I see I am getting fidgety due to participating in backchat while I study, I stop and I breathe. I take a moment to breathe through the energetic experience, and I bring myself back to awareness to do a self-check, I ask myself: do I need a break or to push through resistances, am I focusing on something relevant or getting carried away in too many details, what backchat am I participating in- forgive and stop. I breathe myself back into awareness and take the next step from there.

Day 36- Pushing Myself to Study Effectively

I’ve been in school for two years non-stop now, and I’m still having some difficulty with focus and concentration on my studies. I know I spent 18 years developing bad study habits and so it’s going to be a bit of a process to correct it, and that’s cool- I can do ths. So I’m just bringing it up here once again, from a new angle/dimension as I have slowly been addressing all dimensions of my toubles with studying. I started with stress and anxiety, fear of failure, problems with authority and lack of self-movement and discipline already, and now it’s just some nitty gritty stuff. Some real practical application stuff that requires diligence as I actually continue to walk this change into the physical reality of myself. Self-forgiveness makes pushing through resistances more do-able I find, because of the understanding involved where it’s like: “okay, I know why I ‘m doing this, I know why it seems hard, I know where I’m going with this, I know this is not going to last forever, I know how much better I’ll feel later if I do his now” …etc…

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist studying, reading my lessons and taking notes for an upcoming exam.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become distracted and preoccupied while studying my lessons, reading and taking notes, because I have defined it as boring and not what I would prefer to be doing, instead of realizing that everything I do can be utilized as an opportunity to apply myself, to push myself and to expand myself- no matter what it is I am doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that my lessons are hard because of the vocabulary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define texts with more advanced vocabulary as hard instead of realizing that it only takes one moment to look up the word in a new tab and to then integrate that word by looking at its context within the sentence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become lost and overwhelmed within the denser parts of the chapter, because I would rather be skimming through all the material within the desire for it to all be simple and easy and something I can complete quickly, instead of realizing that some parts of the chapter will require more focus and attention to fully understand, and that I need to take it slow at those points so as to fully comprehend the lesson.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/desire to skip over the parts I don’t understand within the text, as if I’ll piece it all together by the end, instead of realizing that this causes me to become frustrated because I end up not completely understanding what I’m reading.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself when I don’t completely understand the text because I’ve skimmed over some parts due to laziness, thus sabotaging myself and hashing up old memories of being completely lost in school wherein I developed the belief that “I just can’t do this, I just can’t understand, there’s something wrong with me, I’m not like the others, it’s more difficult for me” and so on, without taking a moment to look at how I actually created this reality for myself by not applying myself as much as is/was required of me to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to relive two particular memories of doing quizzes which I had not studied for, wherein I did not take any self-responsibility, but instead allowed myself to fail and go into self-judgment, and after repeating this type of behavior enough times I ended up defining myself as one who is not capable of school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play the victim by defining myself as incapable, instead of standing up and changing my habits and actually applying myself fully, as I know full well I am capable of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my self-definition of ‘incapable of schoolwork/focusing/concentrating/understanding’  as an excuse to not have to fully apply myself, because it’s easier to judge/define myself than it is to actually push myself to change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as incapable of schoolwork.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think or believe that school is more difficult for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my self-responsibility by believing I simply can’t do it, instead of realizing that I can do it because I have all the tools I need available to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to overdo it at times when I’m studying, within the belief that I need to push push push all the time, instead of taking myself and my physical body into consideration by giving myself breaks and doing it in shorter spurts, such as studying for 45 minutes, and then taking a 15 minute break.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think or believe that pushing myself to sit there and stare at the screen is effective, instead of realizing quality over quantity- it’s doesn’t matter how much time I put in if I’m not learning, absorbing, understanding anything.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to build up studying as some big arduous task that ‘nearly kills me,’ and then procrastinating from doing it because I’ve built up this belief, instead of simply setting up my spot, setting up my timeframe, sitting down and starting. It doesn’t have to be so miserable- that is entirely self-created.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define studying as miserable instead of taking self-responsibility and looking into how I created that experience for myself, wherein I am now using it as an excuse to become distracted and make it worse.

I realize I have made studying ‘miserable’ ‘arduous’ and ‘difficult’ by skimming over tough sections of text, by not adequately looking up and integrating the vocabulary I don’t understand, by defining the entire experience on past memories, and by projecting those past memories into the future thus setting myself up to procrastinate.

When and as I am going to study I DO NOT STOP moving me towards the task. I DO NOT give myself the time to project how it’s going to be. I simply keep putting one foot in front of the other until I am sitting down and ready to go, and then I breathe, clear myself, and start with 45 minutes.

When and as I see myself becoming distracted while studying, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to awareness and check why I am allowing myself to be/become distracted: is it the vocabulary, is it a tough spot in the text, is it past memories or am I defining the moment as too hard, too arduous as an excuse to escape self-responsibility.

I commit myself to push myself within studying, within the understanding of the importance of being able to discipline myself and utilize every moment and every breath as an opportunity to push and expand me.

I commit myself to gently change myself from the bad habits and definitions I have created for myself within school/studying over time, so that I may stop creating the same experience over and over, and instead simply move myself through the task, within presence as who I am.

I commit myself to push through the resistances I will inevitably face as I change the habits and patterns I have become so used to within studying.

Day 2- I’ll never get it all done!

Today the pattern that I found most noticeable was the feeling that I needed to get everything done all at once, and I went into an energetic possession when I realized I wasn’t going to have time to do it all. I have been doing end-of-term papers for the past two weeks and have put other stuff off, telling myself I’d get it all done when I’m finished with school. School took longer than I expected and now I don’t have as much time as I would have liked. However, now that I look back on it all, I see that if I had done a little bit each day, I could have done more than I believed, which relates to yesterday’s pattern.

So, I woke up this morning and I did a lot, and I didn’t realize that I was working myself up in to a bit of a crazy woman. Actually, I was pleased that I was getting so much done, but within this pattern I tend to do too much and then burn out instead of realizing that I need to just be consistent and do a little bit every day. By the time I left the house I knew I was in an energetic possession, because my mind was all over the place and I forgot a bunch of stuff so I had to go back home, then I was unclear as to where I should go first. It took me the whole bus ride downtown, plus some more time before I was able to get myself together again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as the energetic experience of ‘getting it done’ and ‘doing it all’, instead of realizing that I can only do so much in one day, and that I can only move one breath at a time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive that if I rush rush rush and do it all right now, then it will make up for lost time and I will ‘catch up’ to myself (my mind) and experience a feeling of ‘being done,’ when in fact, there is always more to do and more that can and should be done. So within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to chase the mind-created idea of the experience of ‘finally being all done’ as if it is a point ‘out there’ somewhere instead of realizing that I can accomplish much while remaining Here, in the present moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate while I was busy with school, because I accepted and allowed the belief that I could ‘only handle school’ and only do one thing at a time, instead of pushing myself to be and become more disciplined, precise and effective within my daily application of myself in my life and my world within the context of all the things I have to do from day to day. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the polarity opposite of trying to do too much, because I knew that I had been procrastinating and so I created a situation in which I sabotaged myself by allowing things to pile up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can ‘only handle school’ and ‘only handle one thing at a time’ and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within how effective I allow myself to be by existing within and as this belief. This beLIEf be a LIE I tell myself in order for me to not have to push myelf through resisting doing more that I believe I am capable of.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to gently push me and test my limits in order that I may expand those limits.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify laziness with the excuse that I work really hard at school, instead of pushing through my resistances to keep up on my daily tasks when I am also doing schoolwork.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to draw out my school work when I have extra time because I don’t have a deadline to motivate me to push through my resistances towards learning the coursework. In this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to indulge in the mind of idleness instead of facing reality and the fact that I can move me instead of depending on the energetic ‘push’ of stress that I call motivation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny the fact that I know all too well that I am able to push me and move me, and that it is a choice when I do not do so. When I make the choice to not push me or move me I am choosing the limitations of the mind over realizing myself as life- doing nothing instead of doing everything, -wasting time instead of living (wasting life instead of living life).

I accept and allow and commit myself to, in moments of resistance when I see I have the choice, to choose life each and every single time until it is who I am.

I allow and accept myself to fearlessly face the fact that I am capable of self-movement and self-change, and that I will chose Life.

I commit to proving to myself that I am more than what I believe myself to be by walking through resistances in breathe as Life here, an when I see that I am holding a self-limiting belief I remind myself that it is not real, but only based on past experiences which are past. Who I am is Here, in the present moment where I have the power to choose Life in each breath.

I commit myself to directing myself through my entire day, and to do work consistently each day, without forgetting to also enjoy moments in my Life  within a gratefulness that I am able to do so.