Everything is in Reverse

 

If you are walking the Desteni process, you may hear the phrase “Everything is in Reverse” spoken in certain situations. It took me some time before I could actually grasp the implications of what this actually meant. From what I have learned and experienced so far, seeing how everything works in reverse when walking your process, you will see that when you understand how things work in reverse, you get a far more dynamic, thorough and complex understanding of how reality functions, how individual self-creation happens, and how to undo the self-creational process that does not benefit self, the one that was walked as if on ‘autopilot’, in unawareness, like bad habits, detrimental self-definitions and reactional patterns for example.

For me, seeing and realizing how ‘everything is in reverse’ usually happens in hindsight, where the outcomes I was expecting played out in ways I could have never imagined. Where the outcome, in terms of the result, the realizations, that which manifested in the physical – was exactly what I was aiming for, but the process to get there was specific to realize many points in a way that is Best for All. Yet the process to get there seemed to be ‘destroying’/’moving away from’ the very thing I set out to do.

Many times, I have set out to achieve an objective, only to have the experience where the entire time, the entire process feels like it is falling apart and moving farther and farther away from the objective. It has been, in many instances, the reverse of the process I was expecting. Only once I had seen it through, despite the experience I was having, did I realize the process had to happen in reverse for me to be able to see all the points I would have missed if I were to have walked a straight line from ‘A’ to ‘B’ as I had planned.

It has also been explained to me that the saying “Everything is in Reverse” does not mean everything is ‘opposite’, or that the solution to be walked should be the ‘opposite’ of the ‘problem’/’issue’. For example, if you are experiencing a point of ‘laziness’ that you are struggling with, where you are finding it difficult to get up and move, to motivate yourself and to get tasks done, we may be tempted to simply ‘do the opposite’ and all of a sudden become ‘more productive’. But you may find that doesn’t work necessarily, that you continue struggling and then burn out. So you instead walk it ‘in reverse’: you learn how to relax properly, which could be seen or judged as being EVEN MORE LAZY and the REVERSE of what you ‘should’ be doing. But, in fact, you needed to learn how to let go of your work entirely in those moments where you decide to rest, so that your rest is in fact real rest, where you get up and feel rejuvenated, relaxed, ready to take on the next thing. Here, the process was in reverse, and not doing ‘the opposite’ of a point.

A simple example to illustrate the difference: Black is the opposite of white in terms of colour, whereas you can then look at the process in reverse and say that white comprises all hues on the visible light spectrum, and black is the absence of light. Or you can say that black and white are not colours at all, and are actually shades. In seeing the process in reverse is very different from doing the opposite. In seeing the process in reverse, you are considering the creational process of colours, you are opening yourself up to the different perspectives and definitions of what colour even is.  

If you move immediately from ‘laziness’ to ‘extremely productive’ (doing the opposite), you miss your SELF within the point (and you will probably burn out quite quickly). You may miss the fact that you were lazy because you were over-burdening yourself in your mind with responsibilities that were not yours, with unattainable expectations which made you feel deflated and defeated, or with stress, worries and anxieties that were unnecessary. You then walk a process of learning how to relax a LOT, really pushing the point, where you are now doing less than you were ever doing before, but you learn how to really let go and truly give your body a real break. You then slowly bring your work back in, remembering not to recreate the same mental burden you had created before, so that in the end, you can turn out to be even more productive because your body is more balanced, your mind is clearer and more focused, and you are not carrying around a bunch of unnecessary emotional weight. The latter is an example of ‘everything is in reverse’.

Another example is the old tale about the hen that was baking pies for all the young chicks in her village. It was quite a laboursome process to bake these pies, and none but one of the chicks was willing to help her when she asked. When the pies were ready and it came time for eating them, of course all the chicks came around to get some delicious pie. But the hen refused to give them any, because they did not help at all in the cooking process, except for the one chick that did help – he got all the pie he could eat.

This life lesson from the hen seems entirely practical. You didn’t help, now you don’t get any – and this is how we teach each other lessons most of the time. Threats, punishments, rewards. Very mechanical… where is the complexity of Life considered in there? How can we be more considerate where the lessons learned will result in the chicks becoming being more considerate, more responsible, more understanding? All they have learned from this is input-output/stimulus-reward. And besides, what is the hen going to do with all that pie for just herself and one chick. It seems a little spiteful, doesn’t it?

 But let’s look at how taking ‘everything in reverse’ opens up many more points of consideration and regard for everyone involved. Why did the hen in the story make the pies? She was making it for others. If the task were too big and laboursome for her, why did she not ask for help before starting to bake, and assess from the amount of help that was volunteered if she was willing to still make the pies. Instead, she started making the pies and asking for help along the way, once she had already begun. This seems like she was setting herself up for disappointment and difficulty.

Because, not everybody likes to make pie, right? But some people really enjoy it, and they enjoy making it for others. Why not get those people that enjoy making pie together, where everyone would actually enjoy the process and it would not seem like labour at all, but simply something they all like doing. Now you have a group together that is expressing themselves in ways that is aligned with who they are, instead of forcing some into doing something they are not really interested in, only because they want a reward. Personally, I think the pies made from enjoyment and self-expression will taste better anyways.

In doing it this way, she is teaching these chicks to do what they enjoy, and to do it as a ‘giving’ to others, where the ‘giving’ part is equally enjoyed. I mean, what are all the other chicks busy with? It does not make sense that every single chick should be there making pies, there are other things that need to be done in a village, or maybe they are busy developing themselves through play?

Now we can also look at it a different way, looking only at the hen, asking again, why did the hen want to make the pies? Did she set out to teach a spiteful lesson? Or does she just enjoy making and sharing pies? What if the hen simply enjoyed making pies, and so she made them unconditionally as an expression of herself which she lived out physically through making pies? What if she chose a day where she has the time and the energy to really put her all into making pies for all the chicks in the village, where she leads by example in expressing herself and giving unconditionally. Wouldn’t that be a better lesson for the chicks? Do what you love doing and share it unconditionally? This is why people specialize into certain skills and abilities, because not everyone finds passion and purpose in doing the same things.

If you look at it, by doing it all herself, this learning lesson would seem to be ‘in reverse’ of what the hen was intending to teach, which was ‘taking responsibility’,’ putting effort in if you want to create something and enjoy it’. But in ‘teaching a lesson’ through denying the chicks pie because they did not want to help, without first explaining to them that there would be this consequence, she was actually moving only from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’ linearly, missing Who She Is and who each individual chick is in the process. The chicks had no clue they would be denied pie if they did not help out – and this was done intentionally and so with some deceit on the part of the hen. This will more likely breed resent, guilt, disappointment, spite, lack, anger and frustration in the chicks, which is actually what we often do with children in the world today.

Why not teach responsibility and ‘putting effort in’ by ‘doing it in reverse’ – through giving as you would like to receive, through standing as an example, through unconditionality? –These are the qualities of real leadership. And yes, not all the chicks will take the lesson. Some will love being lazy and reaping the benefits of another’s labour. Those chicks will create consequences in their own lives over time which they will either have to decide to live with, or change and take responsibility and the put effort in. This is simply the longer process, and hopefully they will have a hen in their lives that will walk this process with them, standing as an example over and over until they either ‘get it’, or they don’t. The outcome should not affect how the standing and leadership of the hen.

Now, of course there are practical examples of where children need to chip in and help out. Where they may need to contribute to the functioning of the household and start chipping in with daily responsibilities – but here there is always a practical reason behind it: If you keep your room clean you won’t get bugs or lose your toys. You must set the table because parents are busy working and cooking and it needs to be set in order to be able to eat.  Things like this that have understandable reasons behind the task. But with something like making pies spontaneously because you wanted to, where you don’t need more than a few people, and where a few people can easily make an abundance of pie, enough for everyone – why should there be a necessity for everyone to chip in to make pies?? It doesn’t make sense.

In this fable, you could say to the hen that is trying to teach the lesson: “everything is in reverse”. Where, walking this teaching process in reverse (giving the pie unconditionally and looking more at Self and who Self is in that process) actually covers so many more points than the mechanical and linear way of ‘doing the opposite’ where you simply deny instead of give the pie.

In my life, personally, I have had many lessons taught to me ‘in reverse’. Especially as the people around me stand as their own points of self-responsibility, this seems to happen quite naturally. It has been, for me, the more reactive process, the more thorough process, the more eye-opening process which has taught me to truly consider others as myself. To truly check my self-interest and challenge my ego, to truly challenge Who I Am and who I decide to be in my living actions.

So, in the end, how I have seen everything being in reverse, is where you take your point/the point you see/the point you are walking, and stand within and as it despite any experience you are having, or how it seems to be playing out. You embrace reality and let Life unfold, knowing that you are taking self-responsibility, and not binding that to anyone outside of you. You live self-trust, and walk your point despite it feeling like you are moving away from it. If you stick with your principles and common-sense, and of course “look inside to Self for guidance”, you will inevitably walk a process that is about so much more than just you, one that contributes to all Life in so many ways.