If you are walking the Desteni process, you may hear the
phrase “Everything is in Reverse” spoken in certain situations. It took me some
time before I could actually grasp the implications of what this actually meant.
From what I have learned and experienced so far, seeing how everything works in
reverse when walking your process, you will see that when you understand how
things work in reverse, you get a far more dynamic, thorough and complex
understanding of how reality functions, how individual self-creation happens,
and how to undo the self-creational process that does not benefit self, the one
that was walked as if on ‘autopilot’, in unawareness, like bad habits,
detrimental self-definitions and reactional patterns for example.
For me, seeing and realizing how ‘everything is in reverse’
usually happens in hindsight, where the outcomes I was expecting played out in
ways I could have never imagined. Where the outcome, in terms of the result,
the realizations, that which manifested in the physical – was exactly what I
was aiming for, but the process to get there was specific to realize many points
in a way that is Best for All. Yet the process to get there seemed to be ‘destroying’/’moving
away from’ the very thing I set out to do.
Many times, I have set out to achieve an objective, only to
have the experience where the entire time, the entire process feels like it is
falling apart and moving farther and farther away from the objective. It has
been, in many instances, the reverse of the process I was expecting. Only once
I had seen it through, despite the experience I was having, did I realize the
process had to happen in reverse for me to be able to see all the points I
would have missed if I were to have walked a straight line from ‘A’ to ‘B’ as I
had planned.
It has also been explained to me that the saying “Everything
is in Reverse” does not mean everything is ‘opposite’, or that the solution to
be walked should be the ‘opposite’ of the ‘problem’/’issue’. For example, if
you are experiencing a point of ‘laziness’ that you are struggling with, where
you are finding it difficult to get up and move, to motivate yourself and to
get tasks done, we may be tempted to simply ‘do the opposite’ and all of a
sudden become ‘more productive’. But you may find that doesn’t work necessarily,
that you continue struggling and then burn out. So you instead walk it ‘in
reverse’: you learn how to relax properly, which could be seen or judged
as being EVEN MORE LAZY and the REVERSE of what you ‘should’ be doing. But, in
fact, you needed to learn how to let go of your work entirely in those moments
where you decide to rest, so that your rest is in fact real rest, where you get
up and feel rejuvenated, relaxed, ready to take on the next thing. Here, the
process was in reverse, and not doing ‘the opposite’ of a point.
A simple example to illustrate the difference: Black is the opposite
of white in terms of colour, whereas you can then look at the process in reverse
and say that white comprises all hues on the visible light spectrum, and black
is the absence of light. Or you can say that black and white are not colours at
all, and are actually shades. In seeing the process in reverse is very
different from doing the opposite. In seeing the process in reverse, you are
considering the creational process of colours, you are opening yourself up to
the different perspectives and definitions of what colour even is.
If you move immediately from ‘laziness’ to ‘extremely productive’
(doing the opposite), you miss your SELF within the point (and you will
probably burn out quite quickly). You may miss the fact that you were lazy
because you were over-burdening yourself in your mind with responsibilities that
were not yours, with unattainable expectations which made you feel deflated and
defeated, or with stress, worries and anxieties that were unnecessary. You then
walk a process of learning how to relax a LOT, really pushing the point, where
you are now doing less than you were ever doing before, but you learn how to really
let go and truly give your body a real break. You then slowly bring your work
back in, remembering not to recreate the same mental burden you had created
before, so that in the end, you can turn out to be even more productive because
your body is more balanced, your mind is clearer and more focused, and you are not
carrying around a bunch of unnecessary emotional weight. The latter is an example
of ‘everything is in reverse’.
Another example is the old tale about the hen that was baking
pies for all the young chicks in her village. It was quite a laboursome process
to bake these pies, and none but one of the chicks was willing to help her when
she asked. When the pies were ready and it came time for eating them, of course
all the chicks came around to get some delicious pie. But the hen refused to
give them any, because they did not help at all in the cooking process, except
for the one chick that did help – he got all the pie he could eat.
This life lesson from the hen seems entirely practical. You
didn’t help, now you don’t get any – and this is how we teach each other
lessons most of the time. Threats, punishments, rewards. Very mechanical… where
is the complexity of Life considered in there? How can we be more considerate
where the lessons learned will result in the chicks becoming being more
considerate, more responsible, more understanding? All they have learned from
this is input-output/stimulus-reward. And besides, what is the hen going to do
with all that pie for just herself and one chick. It seems a little spiteful,
doesn’t it?
But let’s look at how
taking ‘everything in reverse’ opens up many more points of consideration and
regard for everyone involved. Why did the hen in the story make the pies? She
was making it for others. If the task were too big and laboursome for her, why
did she not ask for help before starting to bake, and assess from the amount of
help that was volunteered if she was willing to still make the pies. Instead,
she started making the pies and asking for help along the way, once she had
already begun. This seems like she was setting herself up for disappointment
and difficulty.
Because, not everybody likes to make pie, right? But some
people really enjoy it, and they enjoy making it for others. Why not get those
people that enjoy making pie together, where everyone would actually enjoy the
process and it would not seem like labour at all, but simply something they all
like doing. Now you have a group together that is expressing themselves in ways
that is aligned with who they are, instead of forcing some into doing something
they are not really interested in, only because they want a reward. Personally,
I think the pies made from enjoyment and self-expression will taste better anyways.
In doing it this way, she is teaching these chicks to do what
they enjoy, and to do it as a ‘giving’ to others, where the ‘giving’ part is
equally enjoyed. I mean, what are all the other chicks busy with? It does not
make sense that every single chick should be there making pies, there are other
things that need to be done in a village, or maybe they are busy developing
themselves through play?
Now we can also look at it a different way, looking only at
the hen, asking again, why did the hen want to make the pies? Did she set out
to teach a spiteful lesson? Or does she just enjoy making and sharing pies? What
if the hen simply enjoyed making pies, and so she made them unconditionally as
an expression of herself which she lived out physically through making pies?
What if she chose a day where she has the time and the energy to really put her
all into making pies for all the chicks in the village, where she leads by
example in expressing herself and giving unconditionally. Wouldn’t that be a
better lesson for the chicks? Do what you love doing and share it
unconditionally? This is why people specialize into certain skills and
abilities, because not everyone finds passion and purpose in doing the same
things.
If you look at it, by doing it all herself, this learning
lesson would seem to be ‘in reverse’ of what the hen was intending to teach,
which was ‘taking responsibility’,’ putting effort in if you want to create
something and enjoy it’. But in ‘teaching a lesson’ through denying the chicks
pie because they did not want to help, without first explaining to them that
there would be this consequence, she was actually moving only from point ‘A’ to
point ‘B’ linearly, missing Who She Is and who each individual chick is in the
process. The chicks had no clue they would be denied pie if they did not help
out – and this was done intentionally and so with some deceit on the part of
the hen. This will more likely breed resent, guilt, disappointment, spite,
lack, anger and frustration in the chicks, which is actually what we often do
with children in the world today.
Why not teach responsibility and ‘putting effort in’ by ‘doing
it in reverse’ – through giving as you would like to receive, through standing
as an example, through unconditionality? –These are the qualities of real
leadership. And yes, not all the chicks will take the lesson. Some will love
being lazy and reaping the benefits of another’s labour. Those chicks will
create consequences in their own lives over time which they will either have to
decide to live with, or change and take responsibility and the put effort in. This
is simply the longer process, and hopefully they will have a hen in their lives
that will walk this process with them, standing as an example over and over
until they either ‘get it’, or they don’t. The outcome should not affect how
the standing and leadership of the hen.
Now, of course there are practical examples of where children
need to chip in and help out. Where they may need to contribute to the functioning
of the household and start chipping in with daily responsibilities – but here
there is always a practical reason behind it: If you keep your room clean you
won’t get bugs or lose your toys. You must set the table because parents are
busy working and cooking and it needs to be set in order to be able to
eat. Things like this that have understandable
reasons behind the task. But with something like making pies spontaneously
because you wanted to, where you don’t need more than a few people, and where a
few people can easily make an abundance of pie, enough for everyone – why should
there be a necessity for everyone to chip in to make pies?? It doesn’t make
sense.
In this fable, you could say to the hen that is trying to
teach the lesson: “everything is in reverse”. Where, walking this teaching
process in reverse (giving the pie unconditionally and looking more at Self and
who Self is in that process) actually covers so many more points than the
mechanical and linear way of ‘doing the opposite’ where you simply deny instead
of give the pie.
In my life, personally, I have had many lessons taught to me ‘in
reverse’. Especially as the people around me stand as their own points of self-responsibility,
this seems to happen quite naturally. It has been, for me, the more reactive
process, the more thorough process, the more eye-opening process which has
taught me to truly consider others as myself. To truly check my self-interest
and challenge my ego, to truly challenge Who I Am and who I decide to be in my
living actions.
So, in the end, how I have seen everything being in reverse,
is where you take your point/the point you see/the point you are walking, and
stand within and as it despite any experience you are having, or how it
seems to be playing out. You embrace reality and let Life unfold, knowing that you
are taking self-responsibility, and not binding that to anyone outside of you.
You live self-trust, and walk your point despite it feeling like you are moving
away from it. If you stick with your principles and common-sense, and of course
“look inside to Self for guidance”, you will inevitably walk a process that is about
so much more than just you, one that contributes to all Life in so many ways.
