Day 253 - The Quantum Moment Before the Death of a Chicken

I have already written this article, but the first question that came up is: why it is important? So I asked myself and answered: It is important because our daily moments make us who we are, and in each moment, we get to decide who that is. It has become a cliché that one must be the change they want to see, but that cliché is true, and we can literally only develop ourselves one moment at a time. Each moment is crucial towards our self-development, even if it's a seemingly mundane, daily moment. And so, in this article I share one such moment as an example of how it is possible for each one of us to learn and change who we are at our core through moment-to-moment application.

Here is my article, I hope you enjoy it!

The Quantum Moment Before the Death of a Chicken

Is it possible to decide who you are in a split-second moment – to look at all the factors that need to be considered, your sound, your intention, your starting point, the events at play, the potential play-outs, your character and where you are at in your process, the character of others involved, and so much more?

I had an experience yesterday where this was in fact the case. I opened the door and Ghost, the husky with a propensity to hunt, sprung out of the gate with an intensified vigour that immediately caught my attention. He bolted across the lawn in what appeared to me, without my glasses, to be a white blur, towards another white blur by the bushes at the other end of the yard.

At first, I thought it was Boeboe, the Maltese-poodle mix, but when I saw wings flapping I knew it was an escaped chicken. I saw Fidelis there, already taking action, I saw Boomie, a herding dog, right there in the mix as if appearing out of nowhere. I thought right away that two charging dogs and a cornered chicken was too much for one person to direct, so I took off running across the lawn to help.

In this split-second moment, I thought about Ghost and his history with hunting and going into a possession when he chases his prey. I saw his body language and his movement and knew that he was going in for the kill. I thought of my own process with developing my authority within myself and with the animals here at the farm, and how I had learned to direct them over time. In that moment, and with all the information and my observations, I made two decisions – one in awareness, and one was a conscious conclusion.

For context, the difference between deciding within and as awareness, versus acting from within and as consciousness, is the following: in awareness, I decide in the present moment, based on the present reality, and that decision in my case is based on a set of principles of doing what is best for all involved. Deciding within and as consciousness is where you act from a pre-programmed starting point, meaning habitual patterns and behaviours, beliefs, self-judgements, self-beliefs, past memories, future fears etc… all play a more significant role and are mostly based in the past and perceived future than here in the present moment. Consciousness decisions usually come up seemingly automatically (because there is no awareness of the timeline in the moment), as if they are already here and decided, and usually have a footing in emotional or feeling energy, as well as and not mutually exclusively, a foot in self-interest. Whereas decisions made in awareness involve assessment of present reality factors, with no emotions or feelings influencing one to sway from their principles as they direct the situation towards an outcome to the best of their abilities.

The conscious conclusion came first and thus impacted the other decision I made. The conscious conclusion was that there was nothing I could do to stop Ghost because he was already in motion, and I already believed that anything I tried would be unsuccessful. This is based on previous inexperience with animals, as well as memories of animals not listening to me and me feeling like I have no control over them.

Immediately afterwards, within the realization that I would not get there in time, I knew I could only use my voice, my sound. This is where my second decision came in, where I made a decision in awareness. The sound I chose was sharp and with no emotion, as I was attempting to cut through the possession Ghost was in towards the chicken, to ‘snap him out of it’ in a way. This choice was made in awareness as I assessed the situation and spoke with intention instead of that out-of-control emotional screaming that can occur in these life-or-death situations.

What disempowered me in that moment though, and I could not hear it, but rather ‘feel’ it in my voice as a ‘knowing’, was that I had already made the decision that I would not be effective due to the conscious conclusion I had come to based on past memories. In my voice was a twinge of desperation that was not audible, but was present in ‘who I was’ in my speaking (or in this case yelling). I could feel the disempowerment and desperation in my body, even though I could hear my sound as loud, unemotional, sharp and confident. And so what message was coming through to Ghost, besides me yelling at him to stop, was me being disempowered and unable to do anything to stop him.

Ghost made it to the chicken, and the chicken was killed.

It was over in a few seconds, but my internal process took place in the first fraction of the first second that I became aware of what was going on  - illustrating that quantum moment we all have before we take any action or speak any words. This quantum moment is invaluable as it is a moment we can give to ourselves to decide in awareness who we are, what our principles are and what outcome we will contribute towards in any given situation.

In order to be able to use this moment effectively, we have to be clear within ourselves, walking a process to clear out the ‘consciousness’ we have programmed ourselves as over a lifetime of memories, thoughts, beliefs and experiences, as well as the fears, doubts and self-judgments we carry around, along with so much more, in order to instead make clear and concise reality-based decisions.

Personally, I have used the Desteni ‘I’ Process to work through my conscious pre-programming, and continue to do so as I live day-by-day, making these mistakes and learning form them, clearing myself out bit by bit as I re-program myself to someone I want to be, someone I can trust, someone that makes split-second decisions for example, that are best for all involved.

And so I was tested today, as it happened again, where Ghost made a mad dash for the chickens in the coop. This time there was no hesitation, I had learned from last time, and I immediately took the stance that I would not accept or allow this, and I that I would be able to break through to Ghost.

Now, the fact that I made this decision within myself does not mean reality will abide – we can never predict the outcome of a situation or the effect we will have on people or animals outside ourselves. However, when it happened again, this time I was prepared due to the process of introspection I had walked the first time around.

Ghost took off, and I quickly took my stance, chose my sound and brought it through. Low and behold, when I spoke, Ghost reared back as if being pulled by reigns, he snapped out of his possession and abruptly turned and circled back around towards me.

I realize it was a different situation, and that there could be other factors at play here, but the fact remains that I am practicing, and the more I am able to get through to him, the more likely I will be able to prevent future mishaps. Not only that, but the fact also remains that I am in a learning process, and developing the ability to take a stand in moments, and truly be the authority within myself, and so  my reality.

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Day 236: The Tao of the Hen

Some people may find it weird, the process I am walking with the chickens here at the farm, and the fascination I have developed with them. I myself can’t completely explain it. What I am able to put into words though, is what I am learning about myself through not only the chickens, but all the animals on the farm. This includes dogs, horses, parrots, bugs, rats and frogs.

I had an experience recently that inspired me to finally write about my process with the animals. The experience involved a hen with a pretty bad injury on her foot. It happened as I was walking through the chicken coop to retrieve a bucket, when, as usual, all the chickens came running towards and gathering around me with great vigour in hopes to be fed. This particular hen was slower, coming real close and holding up her foot in a gesture that caught my attention. It almost seemed to me like she was showing it to me, as I saw a bad wound on one of her toes. Interestingly, I immediately felt guilty, as if I had in some way caused it by unknowingly stepping on it, or by opening the door on it.

Already, there are two red flags that I noticed, which I have been learning through interacting with the animals. The first is thinking the hen was showing me her foot. Here, it is important to not impose my thoughts or beliefs onto the actions of an animal in an attempt to anthropomorphise the communication, because there is no way to know for sure, so there is a risk of mis-interpreting the situation because I only have my side of the story. The second thing is to not bring my emotions into interactions with animals. Through both common sense and experience, I have seen that bringing emotions into animal relationships only ever causes problems, either between animals, or between myself and the animal.

The interesting thing here is that these two behaviours that I am correcting within myself in relation to animals can also be applied with humans. For example, how often do we only look at our own side of a situation, interpreting what we see and believing it to be the truth or the reality of the situation, without first checking or cross-referencing the information with another? We can so easily invent entire dramas in our own minds, missing important information, going into reactions that affect our behaviour and that can even put a wedge in the relationship, sometimes without it ever being fully resolved. 

So, for the first red flag moment of believing I was having a special communication with the hen, I quickly let go of my own beliefs, and took away the objective information only:  that there was a wound and the hen was limping, and I would need to ask someone whether there was anything we could do for her. 

The second red flag involved me bringing an emotion into the interaction, in this case ‘guilt’. This behaviour can also be applied in human relations: When we act from a starting point of emotion, for example, ‘guilt’, we are not being sincere in our actions, and we are not addressing the root cause of whatever problem we are feeling guilty about. Let’s say you buy a child, a friend or a family member gifts out of guilt that you are not spending enough time with them. The solution would be to make time to spend with them in a sustainable way, and not bring guilt into your presence when with that person, because it will usually have a consequential impact on them. Also, when we do this, we make it all about US, how WE are feeling and what will make ME feel better about MYself. This allows for the root-cause behaviour to continue, it takes away from the sincerity of the gesture and the opportunity for real, unconditional giving, unconditional care, and unconditional support for another.

When it came time for me to be taught how to handle the situation in terms of actually treating the wounded hen, I was a bit apprehensive thinking about how silly I would look clumsily chasing around a chicken, and then I saw images of those long, sharp, bacteria filled chicken claws cutting through my skin and causing some life-threatening bacterial infection.

What I have learned about approaching animals in preparation for some task I need to complete with them, is that I must be very direct with my intentions. Because there is no way for me to directly communicate with the animal, the only thing we have going on between us is Who We Are in the moment: our presence, our body language, our movement, and anything else the animal can pick up on that we humans may not be aware of. 

To do this, it is necessary to check our starting point. For me, in this situation, I could not cloud the interaction with feelings of guilt or remorse, worries of hurting or scaring the animal, projections of the animal hurting me or fears of looking silly. When the interaction is clouded in this way, it becomes confusing, if the animal does not cooperate, the reactions build and the situation becomes tense, unpleasant and more accident-prone.

So I focused on my intention, even speaking it out loud as I was directing myself with the hen. And as all the chickens scurried about, the hen stood still. I approached, leaned over, and simply picked her up. Now, speaking to the hen may seem like a contradiction after having stated there is no direct communication going on between myself and the animal. But the thing is, I was speaking as much for myself as I was for her. Making sure my intentions were clear and focusing on my sound and my words supported me to focus, not on the temptation of my mind to go into the emotions, self-judgments and projections, but on the task at hand: to disinfect the wound, prevent infection and promote healing, which, although would sting, would be in the best interest of the hen in the long run. I brought her into the shed, treated the wound, opened the door and let her out. She promptly ran back to the coop, and my task was complete.

In all my experiences with catching chickens here at the farm, never before has a chicken let me simply approach and pick it up. There is always a chase, a cornering and a bit of a struggle. I will never know if the chicken somehow understood that I was there to help her, although admittedly, that is what I would have liked to believe. But that too, I must let go, otherwise I risk to try to turn it into something special or a bigger deal than what is actually is. If I do this, then I will create expectations to re-live the experience, disappointments when it does not go the same way, fears of losing the experience, and all sorts of other mind-clouding internal energetic noise that will take away from the purity and sincerity of future moments and interactions to come.

Again, these principles would only be of benefit when interacting with others in the human world. How often is our communication clouded with false intent, ulterior motives and secret desires or expectations, which, when unmet, lead us to feeling disappointed with ourselves or the other? When our intentions are clear and in true consideration of the best interest of all parties involved, and when we have not imposed any kind of beliefs of motives into the relationship, we develop real trust, honesty and openness. In a world of corruption, abuse, lies and deceit, we can actually birth a small slice of heaven between us, creating a space where we can express and learn about who we really are and can be, rippling the trust and openness into existence, both existentially if that is how you want to see it, or by example, through our interactions with those in our lives and worlds.

  

Within working with animals over these past 5 months or so, I have seen an improvement with how we interact and work together. So far my successes have come when I check my starting point to make sure I am not only considering myself, to make sure I am clear with my intentions, that I understand what I am doing and have a plan, and lastly, to stand within myself as the authority of myself, not allowing or accepting my mind to scatter in different directions chasing worries, fears, projections and judgments.

It is within these situations of challenge that is presented by working with animals that we are really shown whether or not we have that self-authority that allows us to decide who we are in the moment, or if we rather have a mind that has never been mastered as the tool it actually is or at least, should be. This is a skill, and what I described above with the chicken shows how I am learning how to develop these qualities that create a quality of interaction that extends far beyond chickens and other animals, and into the realm of the human. Without this, we are subject to the chaos of the mind, being pushed and pulled by thoughts and reactions, fears and projections, worries and doubts. We are brought to highs and lows that affect who we are in moments, which then taints our relationships, causing all sorts of unnecessary consequences of varying degrees. 

The animals we are fortunate enough to become close to are a tremendous support in this sense, as they exist in the simplicity of the moment - that quantum, timeless moment where everything exists all at once. And if we accept their invitation, they open the door for us to simply walk through and meet them there.

Note: I am walking a process of self-change using the tools of support offered by www.Desteni.org. I am taking the course called DIP Pro. In this course I learn how to take every day moments and find ways to make myself a better, more understanding and well rounded human being, the kind of human being I would like to see in this world. "Be the change you want to see" is a cool saying, but actually doing it is a bit more confusing because people tend to believe that you can't change human nature. I believe you can, because I have seen myself changing to someone I've always wanted to be. Not there yet, but my motivation is fueled by the proof I have given to myself, which I have documented online every step of the way, in my blogs and on youtube. DIP Pro requires serious dedication and commitment, it is not for the faint of heart. If you want to test the waters for yourself, try the Lite version, it's called DIP Lite, and the best part is, it's free! Why? Because Desteni puts individual self-change above profit. Why does DIP Pro cost money? Because it costs money to exist in this world, and takes a dedicated team to run the program. Otherwise it would also be free.
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Day 79- Fear of Confrontation (Self-Commitment and Self-Corrective Application Statements )

Within this blog, I am writing self-commitment and self-corrective application statements from my previous blogs, Days 76 and 77. This is to assist and support myself to walk out of the fear of confrontation, and into and as a self-directed being of/as effective communication and self-authority.

I commit myself to push myself till I am able to stand stable in the face of confrontation or any other social interaction, within/through understanding my own mind and the within/as my mind fears I have created for myself, deconstructing those fears and seeing them for what they really are: limitation- Self-imposed limitation, that is. And within this, I realize I have a choice. Through self-forgiveness I can forgive myself for what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to live as thus far, because within forgiveness there is responsibility- the responsibility to change self- because a population of fearful and limited beings is not a population that will stand up for Life in this world. However, I can only take responsibility for myself, and change myself, because each is responsible for self and will face self at the end of the day.

When and as I see that I am suppressing myself due to the fear of feeling ‘bad or ‘wrong’ based on someone confronting me about something, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to awareness within the understanding that feeling ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ is no longer an option because now I have self-forgiveness: I forgive myself, I look at my starting point, and I change when/where necessary. In this way, I see, realize and understand that Life becomes all about learning, expanding and growing, instead of fearing, suppressing and controlling. Awesome.

Ego:

I commit myself to not take being confronted personally, because I understand the reaction of another is never about me, it’s only ever about self. Within this, I see, realize and understand that I can only make it about me if I am participating and interacting from a starting point of and as ego- because then all and everything is about me, thus:

When and as I see that I am participating with another from a starting point of ego- wherein I feel ‘attacked’ and like I’m ‘losing’ the fight, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back out of ego by breathing through the energetic experience of ‘loss’ and ‘defensiveness’ until the energy is gone. I realize that I cannot be trusted when I am participating within/as ego, so I direct myself to end the confrontation/interaction before I do any more damage/create any more consequences. I breathe, and I end it, and I realize that there is no competition, there are no ‘winners’ and ‘losers’. There is only effective or non-effective communication, and one is a waste of time.

I commit myself to write myself outwhenever I see that I participated from within/as a starting point of ego as one of many characters of the mind, until I see/realize/understand what triggered the character, why I accepted/allowed it, and how I developed it over time, so that I can effectively stop and erase that character in order that I remain Here through any and all interaction, as a stable being that can be trusted over time.

I commit myself to only participate in effective communication, and to perfect my communication skills till I can create/direct myself as an effective communicator of words that I Live as myself as Life.

When and as I think/believe/perceive that I have upset someone by what I have done/said, I stop, and I breathe. I stop myself from reacting in fear and I instead direct myself to look at the starting point of what I said. Can I stand by it, or was it from a starting point of ego. If I can stand by it, I humbly do. If it was from ego, I do not defend it, but rather stop, and let go, and breathe through the energetic experiences that may follow. I stop my participation until I see that I can be trusted to stand.

 

Authority

I commit myself to stop my reliance upon external authority, and to instead be/become a self-responsible being that considers myself and my place in this world, and acting according to principle, that I can be trusted and trust myself and Who I am in every breath, and thus not require authority.

When and as I see that I am accepting/allowing another to have authority over me, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-direction within the understanding that any influence authority has within me indicates a lack of self-authority, so I take back my self-authority by being/becoming the author of myself, through scripting and directing myself as who I am/will be as a self-honest being that does what’s best for all. So…

When and as I see that the authority of another is influencing me in any way, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-authority by stopping my reaction and letting go, then bringing myself back Here by reminding myself that I had abdicated my self-authority, ad now is time to take it back. I take these moments as reminders that I must be my own authority in every single breath, or else somebody else will do it for me, and I do not want anyone to author my Life for me, as it will never be what’s best for me/best for all unless I take the self-responsibility to do it myself within/as self-equality as all as one as equal.