This is the self-forgiveness statements from the first
paragraph of yesterday’s post (from Days- 71, 72, 73 & 74). Within this blog I am tracing back the roots of
this fear, starting with some basic self-forgiveness:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
falling in the face of confrontation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
people.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
people confronting me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
being in a situation of confrontation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear ‘stepping
out of line’ when I communicate with certain people. Within this,
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
upsetting others with what I do/say, so I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to fear doing or saying the wrong thing. I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to fear someone reacting towards me and I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear feeling bad about that
reaction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on
to a memory of when I was younger, when I did something that I didn’t know I
would get in trouble for, then when I saw I might get in trouble I lied about
it in order to avoid ‘feeling bad’. Afterwards I got in even bigger trouble for
lying, but I only lied because I was fearful, and then I felt terrible, even
though I felt I hadn’t really done anything wrong in the first place. I was punished
and I was not allowed to watch a movie with my cousons, and I felt ashamed and
bad and I cried.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have
always taken ‘getting in trouble’ so personally since I was little, wherein I
believed that it meant I was ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’ as Who I Am, instead of
realizing I was only being trained how to function within the system.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
suppress myself within the belief that I am ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’ instead of just
simply altering my behavior to that which was being asked of me, without taking
anything personally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cry and
pity myself because I thought and believed that I was unjustly punished, and it
hurt my ego, and I participated in these reactions like it was a crime against
humanity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
think/believe there is such a thing as ‘just punishment’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be
raised within and as ‘fear’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
being punished.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
parental figures/figures of authority punishing me when I was little.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
think/believe/perceive that parental figures or figures of authority have any
real authority over Who I Am and how I experience myself within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to give
parental figures/figures of authority the real authority of me, instead of
being a self-responsible being that considers myself and my place in this
world, and acting according to principle, that I can be trusted and trust myself
and Who I am in every breath, and thus not require authority.
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