This is a continuation of my last blogs: Day 90- Death by Pleasing Others, and Day 91- Death by Pleasing Others (pt 2)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about myself when I think/believe/perceive others like me or are pleased with who/how I am.
I commit myself to see/realize/understand that ‘feeling good’ about myself contains the polarity of ‘feeling bad’, and that I can’t have one without the other, and thus I see/realize/understand that self-equality has no charge, as it ‘just is’, which leaves no desire to experience myself any other way than Who I Am in every moment.
I commit myself to stop trying and attempting to manipulate my environment and those around me to change my experience of myself, and to instead take self-responsibility for my self-experience by looking at the root cause for why I would want/need/desire to experience myself any other way than just existing in the moment, Here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like and be pleased with myself when I think/believe/perceive others are pleased with or like me.
I commit myself to base my self-observation on the physical reality of myself, and the outflows of my actions and decisions and whether or not they are best for all.
I commit myself to investigate all ways in which I ‘don’t like’ myself, in order to understand why it is that I would look for that from an outside source instead of giving it
to myself. Within this, I commit myself to stop judging myself or aspects of myself where I’ve decided that I ‘don’t like’ them, instead of having immediately stopped the judgment or the behavior that did not honour myself as Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define how I feel about myself based on how I perceive others feel about me.
I commit myself to stop taking others reactions personally, whether they are positive or negative.
I commit myself to see/realize/understand that the reactions of others comes from their internal processes that may be affected by the day they had, or the week they had, or the month or maybe even an entire life experience that is creating a reaction within them, that has nothing to do with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my self-image on energy, on how I feel inside- wherein, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my external environment, and the people within it, to affect how I feel inside myself, within and through the relationships I have developed with people and things in my external environment, instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that these relationships are entirely my creation, my thoughts/beliefs/perceptions, therefore they are all merely reflecting me to myself, and how I feel about myself, and my self-relationship.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the relationships I create with people, in terms of my reactions to their reactions, are completely my creation, and are always showing me something about myself, and thus:
I commit myself to purify my relationship with myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my self-relationship on energetic internal experiences, instead of basing it on measurable physical actions and their outcomes.
I commit myself to stop trusting my internal emotional and feeling experiences, which I don’t even understand how I created them, and to instead trust what is tangibly measurably, observably Here, in reality as the outflows, outcomes and consequences of my actions, on myself and others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base anything of myself on energy, within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicating myself to energy.
I commit myself to take back my self-direction and self-responsibility from my mind and energy and to walk myself instead back into awareness as Life, as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be perceived as ‘good’, ‘right’, ‘positive’.
I commit myself to stop my participation within the positive/right/good-negative/bad/wrong polarity construct and to realize and understand that there is no good/bad, positive/negative/ right/wrong- only what is Here, and whether it is in consideration of the whole as what’s best for all, or whether it allows abuse to continue.
I commit myself to be and become aware of my place and my responsibility within myself and the world-systems, and to equalize within myself so that I may be a living standing example of and as equality and oneness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect praise and pleased-ness of others to feeling good/right/positive within and as myself.
I commit myself to sever the connections I have made to reactions, actions, words and deeds so that I may end the separation with/as myself.