In my journey to redefining 'strength' I am learning about the ILLUSION of inner-strength (as apposed to REAL inner-strength) something I know all too well.
This is when I use my 'strength' to suppress what I am experiencing in moments, remaining completely stoic on the outside while internally I am actually emotional.
A recent example is when I was looking at some pictures, and I happened upon a picture of some dogs I've had to say goodbye to this last year, and it hit me all over again that they were now gone. In the moment I was struck with a deep sadness and wanted to cry, but instead I breathed and 'swallowed it' in a way, because there were others around. In so doing, I exerted my 'strength' to control my physical and to hold in my emotional reaction that was there in the moment.
At night, right before I go to sleep, I often do a 'scan' of my body/inner Self to see if there are any loose ends that need to be directed. That night, I found the pocket of emotion from having seen the dogs and suppressed the sadness. So I went into it and cried it out, being sure not to feed the sadness with any additional emotions, but just an unconditional letting go so that I was clear before going to sleep.
The recording explained that, if left unchecked, these emotions remain inside, creating pressure, strain, stress on the body, which builds over time and leads to emotional outbursts or physical illness/disease later on, sometimes years down the line.
So, even though we think we are being strong in the moment of 'keeping our composure', the reality is that in the long run, we loose more 'composure'/'control' over ourselves/bodies through outbursts or illness and disease.
For me, this has over the years contributed to migraines and psoriasis. Showing me the inner-strength I thought I had when it comes to keeping it together - is in fact suppression.
My solution apart from revisiting the emotion later, is to simply unconditionally let it out. Or, if that is not appropriate, can at least talk about it, define it, describe it, write it out or speak sf when I have a more appropriate moment later.
The recording leaves off with the practical application of being able to even identify these moments where we tend to immediately suppress, because it can very easily go unnoticed. So it's point of 'Man, Know Thyself'. We really need to be seeing this stuff we're doing to and within ourselves, and direct it/take it back in order to become empowered and not compromise our physical bodies or relationships with others in our world's.
Here's the recording, have a listen, enjoy!
Inner-Strength: What's Real? - Atlanteans - Part 324
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