Day 191- OCD at Work: How to Keep Your Job (pt 3)

Herein I am continuing to deconstruct the obsessive-compulsive tendency to seek perfection as an idealized mind-creation, jumping ahead in the mind without considering the practical steps required to implement any real change. Compelled by obsessive thoughts of what I could or should do, playing out the outcomes in my mind, always finding fault or seeking an unobtainable standard of perfection, and therefore never actually choosing a point and walking it through in reality.

Day 187- OCD at Work: My Breaking Point

Day 188- OCD at Work: My Breaking Point (pt 2)
Day 189- OCD at Work: How to Keep Your Job

Day 190- OCD at Work: How to Keep Your Job (pt. 2)

“I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to be humble as an equal, with strengths and weaknesses like everyone else, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly try to be better-than as an experience only, by using thoughts/projections/ideas/beliefs instead of actually enhancing myself and the work that I do. I see, realize and understand that this habit/pattern/tendency leaves me open and sets me up for experiencing myself as less-than and actually brings forth my weaknesses as manifest consequences because I am not actually dealing with or directing them, but instead suppressing and avoiding them and only focusing on my experience of myself as thoughts/fantasies/imaginations/projections/ideas/beliefs, trying to manipulate my own internal experience based on nothing real, no actual actions, just mind engagement only.”

http://brainethics.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/brain1.png?w=460&h=383

When and as I create a superior idea of myself in my mind in order to manipulate the way I feel in the moment, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-equality within the realization that I activate the obsessive-compulsive personality by creating, generating and cycling thoughts of how I can improve and be better in order to meet or match that ideal I had created within my own mind. All the while, not seeing, realizing or understanding that as a consequence what I am creating within this is the constant feeling and self-experience of never being good enough, using only thoughts of improvement to constantly re-create the ideal, while never actually taking the initiative to make the changes within and without that would lead to improvement for real.

I commit myself to stop the obsessive and compulsive cycles of thought creation and repetition caused by the belief that thought alone will move me or will change me because it changes the way I feel, by asserting myself within myself and without, to practically apply myself in my reality.

Physical reality feedback: The point of this process is actual change, not just written words or thoughts or ideas. Since I have been observing, self-forgiving, correcting, directing and changing myself within my employment, I have increased all of my numbers, which is the statistical feedback indicating how effectively I am applying myself a work. In some cases, I had not only improved my numbers from my last review, some which were quite poor, but had also surpassed the group average. This is an ongoing process and I am sure I will be challenged again, I will have falls and I will face similar points over and over again, however what is noteworthy to me is that I walked through the point where I would have normally wanted to give up and walk away, which is usually the point of change.

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Featured video: "I Think Therefore I do not Act" 

Day 190- OCD at Work: How to Keep Your Job (pt. 2)

Within this blog series I am looking at the what, how, why, where and with whom do I participate and perpetuate the pattern of job-hoping, The pattern consists of beginning a job with high hopes, which slowly devolve into a resentful and spiteful relationship towards the job. Normally this is accompanied by a 'giving up' within the belief that the job is too difficult, too much, too stressful, not right for me, not fair, or not fulfilling. I realized that I am actually the creator of my own downfall within employment, and that I am entirely responsible for my experience of myself at work. This self-sabotage occurs in many small ways which build over time, which creates the experience I then seek to escape. I am forgiving the multi-dimensions of this pattern and scripting out practical steps I can take to change.

http://comerecommended.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/gossiping.jpg

This blog is continued from:

Day 187- OCD at Work: My Breaking Point

Day 188- OCD at Work: My Breaking Point (pt 2)
Day 189- OCD at Work: How to Keep Your Job

“I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid facing my own weaknesses by focusing upon the weaknesses of others, and by focusing on correcting the mistakes of others without fully focusing on and becoming aware of the mistakes I can prevent, which are the mistakes I make, and the weaknesses I accept and allow to continue when left un-investigated.”

When and as I see myself feeling better about myself when I am looking through material and I notice errors or mistakes made by others, by participating in internal conversations with myself about how I would not have made the same or similar mistakes, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-honesty by reminding myself that I make mistakes as well, and it is largely due to the context of the situation at the time of the mistake, whether it is a large workload, an emotionally charged case, or any other outside elements influencing my work. I see, realize and understand that it is impossible to judge another because I would never fully understand the context of the situation they were in at any given time, not to mention the details of the day, their lives and upbringings that led them to handle a certain situation a certain way, the issues they may be dealing with at work or I their private lives, etc, etc… 

I commit myself to breathe through judgments about others which inflate my own ego and diminish the other to only what I know about them or what I am aware of, which is a very limited version of who they are.

I commit myself to work with the cases I am given, and to do the best job I am able, which includes un-biasedly and non-judgmentally correcting any errors I find, mentioning the error only if it would be supportive to all for it to be mentioned.

I commit myself to handle the work of others as I would like to have my work handled: with integrity and care.

I commit myself to continue practicing assessing and approaching my work within self-honesty in order to look at and focus on those areas that need improvement, and to test out different methods until I find the ones that work best.

“I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others avoiding themselves and their own weaknesses by focusing on and concentrating on my mistakes and weaknesses, a fear which I accept and allow by not looking at myself in self-honesty and actually changing/enhancing myself in the ways I require to be changed/enhanced in order to utilize every moment of breath to its fullest potential. But instead I would look to the mistakes and weaknesses of others, and then fear they would do the same to me.”

When and as I see that I am wasting time and avoiding taking self-responsibility by thinking about and judging and comparing myself to others, I stop and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-responsibility by not participating within these thoughts, judgments and comparisons, and simply letting them go, then directing myself to physically move through the next action that Is required to be taken.

I commit myself to continue to push myself through seeing tasks through without getting lost in the mind of thoughts, judgments and comparisons which create unnecessary reactions relationships towards the work, and which also cause me slow down, stall, procrastinate, and resist taking the next steps.

When and as I see that I am having fear-based and paranoid thoughts of my coworkers judging me and reacting to my mistakes I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-definition within the realization and understanding that I am only reflecting my self-judgment, but rather than facing it in self-honesty, I am projecting it on to others thus creating a self-definition based on the reflection of my own fears and paranoia.

I commit myself to look at the fears I have about what others may think about my mistakes in order to show myself where I am accepting and allowing myself to NOT direct myself effectively through learning from my mistakes.

I commit myself to not ever judge myself or my mistakes, but instead to learn from the mistake, and utilize it as an opportunity to hone my skills within the work I am involved in, because the self-judgment will always show me where I am not fully or effectively applying myself.

To be continued....

Featured Video:

We're Alone in our Minds, but we're Not Alone in this Physical Existence: DAY 385

Self-Study with support, learn to respect you and others, learn how to stop mind chatter, learn how to forgive so effectively that you actually change forever, learn how to stop and change the automatic thoughts that run your life --
Sign up for the free course at this link: DIPLITE, try it for yourself .

Day 189- OCD at Work: How to Keep Your Job

This blog is about a history of not being able to hold onto a job for a long period of time. The pattern consists of beginning a job with high hopes, which slowly devolve into a resentful and spiteful relationship towards the job. Normally this is accompanied by a 'giving up' within the belief that the job is too difficult, too much, too stressful,not right, not fair, or not fulfilling. 

http://www.communityjobclub.org/files/employedchalkboardXSmall.jpg

Within this blog series I am looking at the what, how, why, where and whith whom do I participate and perpetuate this pattern. I am forgiving the mufti-dimensions of this pattern and  scripting out practical steps I can take to change. This blog is continued from:

Day 187- OCD at Work: My Breaking Point

Day 188- OCD at Work: My Breaking Point (pt 2)

“I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus too much upon my strengths, exalting myself within the belief that  only I can do it right/properly/best, instead of working as part of a team, all the while, knowing within myself that I too have weaknesses which, if left unchecked, will come out and create a problem that will reflect poorly on me.”

When and as I see myself using memories and thoughts to generate a positive energy within myself, connected to  images and play-outs within which I have defined myself as having done a good job, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-improvement by reminding myself that distracting myself within my own ego while not tending to those areas that I am having difficulty with is preventing myself from actually growing and improving within my work- thus creating the experience of doing a good job only, instead of actually learning how to do every part of the job well.

I see, realize and understand that these thoughts and memories, images and play-outs that create a positive energetic experience within and as me are but distractions triggered mostly in moment where I find myself struggling with an aspect of the job. Instead of fully looking at and facing that aspect of the job that I am struggling with, in order to determine and script practical steps to walk through the issue, I would automatically go into day-dreams and fantasies, making myself feel better instead of taking a breath and facing myself. Within this pattern, I would constantly continue to struggle with specific points within employment, never finding a way to deal with them, thus then accepting and allowing them to perpetuate, creating insecurity and a lack of confidence in my work.

I commit myself to humbly address the issues I face at work, and the points I have difficulty with, and I commit myself to look at them and script out practical methods with which to deal with them.

To be continued....

Self-Study with support, learn to respect you and others, learn how to stop mind chatter, learn how to forgive so effectively that you actually change forever, learn how to stop and change the automatic thoughts that run your life --
Sign up for the free course at this link: DIPLITE, try it for yourself .
featured Video: 'I think Therefore I Do Not Act"