Be Silent Always (2)

 

 

This blog is continued from Be Silent Always (What is Real Silence?)

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the inner storms, the inner turmoil, the dis-ease, and the emotional states that I experience within myself are caused by the mind-noise, the lack of silence, the missed moments, the accumulation of seemingly insignificant thoughts that arise in moments, and within this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress the accumulated consequence that I myself created through not remaining silent always as a real silence, not seeing and realizing the self-fulfilling prophecy of creating the very emotional states and inner turmoil, which ends up bogging me down physically and emotionally, when all along all I had to do was be Here, in each moment, like a fresh moment and a blank slate in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hang on to the mind-noise as inner chatter, repeating thoughts, repeating the same patterns over and over, reacting in the same ways over and over. Not seeing and realizing how easy it actually is to just stop, to let it all go, to take a breath and begin anew, forgive myself and move on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when I am alone, there should be silence except for practical planning and direct seeing of my environment, and that anything other than this is mind-noise which always accumulates into a negative consequence with a destructive effect in myself, in my life or in the lives of others (as myself) eventually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hang onto positive thoughts when I know this creates a polarity which compromises me eventually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hang on to negative thoughts as it destroys me immediately.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hang on to thoughts and become addicted to thoughts and thinking instead of taking a breath and walking through the slight pull every time I stop myself from participating in thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that inner-silence/remaining silent always is boring, and that within this I should be stimulated, constantly buzzing to keep me distracted and pre-occupied in a tiny bubble where all of my time and focus is invested on controlling the inner-experience that I myself am disrupting with polarized thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the control I experience when I accept/allow myself to manipulate myself with positive and negative thoughts, not seeing and realizing that I am not actually in control, the thoughts move too quickly, and so I am constantly only playing catch-up and damage-control, trying to maintain and subdue the stress levels, the anxiety levels, the fear levels, the insecurity, the uncertainty – all of the conditions I have conditioned my body into over a lifetime – thus proving to myself that actual control does not exist, only Self-Expression in the moment can carry one through on the cutting edge of time – real time, timelessness, the unpredictable, the unplanned, the things cannot be prepared for. Only Self-Expression does not accumulate destructive consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that being silent is without sound, not seeing and realizing that Life is sound, and there will be sounds, and the only ‘noise’ is reacting to those sounds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot be silent always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can’t stop my reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I cannot quite my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I cannot do something if I have not already done it before.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that a quiet mind is impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when my mind is quiet, I enjoy myself more.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when my mind is quiet, I laugh more.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when my mind is quiet I do more of the things that I know will benefit me, and within that self-consideration, I find fulfillment.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when my mind is quiet, I can consider others more, and that within that consideration I find fulfillment.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when my mind is quiet, I consider what is Best for All.