Sunday, June 16, 2013

Day 195- Becoming My Own Safe Haven (pt 2)

This is continued from this blog: Day194- Becoming My Own Safe Haven


“I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry and stress about moving locations.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the reality that my environment is going to change drastically.”

When and as I see that I am picturing my current location, and then picturing my future location, and then creating fear within me, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to stability by reminding myself that fearing the situation will not change or move anything, but will rather only lead to fear-based actions and decisions, which are never beneficial. I push myself to direct one thing at a time, as I have time, until everything is tended to and seen through.

I commit myself to identify issues/tasks/responsibilities/obligations, and push myself to begin them, follow up , and see them through.

I commit myself to address the thoughts that create a reaction within me, and to determine whether action is required, or if the thought should simply be stopped in one breath and not participated within or as.

When and as I see that I am creating and manifesting the fear of change, I bring myself back to stability by reminding myself that the fear of change is the fear of the unknown, and the fear of loss.

Fear of the unknown: I commit myself to write myself out in order to get to know the unknown parts of myself and my hidden fears/needs/desires, to instead create a foundation of self-support, to assist and support myself to bring myself back to the present moment, as the present movement, and direct myself within and as the present moment and be ‘known’ to myself as Who I Am, and Why I Make the Decisions I Make.

Fear of Loss: I commit myself to write out that which I fear losing, and to use common sense to take practical steps to support myself to ensure I have the basic necessities that I require to survive, and to manage myself in order to make the most of what I have.

I commit myself to let go of my dependence on those things I fear losing that I do not require to survive, within the understanding and self-commitment, that I will give myself everything I need to live a dignified life, as I am able to with what I am able to work with in my current position in the system.

I commit myself to realize that I have defined myself by those things I fear losing, and thus I fear losing my self-definition. Within this, I commit myself to live the realization that I define me, not my environment and the people, places and things within it.

What I fear to lose:

Stable income

Close Friend

Access to the ocean, the woods, nature

Peace and quiet and open spaces

The animals

Donation-based Yoga Studio

The cafes. Restaurants and shops I enjoy

My independence

My privacy

Being foreign

Unusual cultural norms that remind me that I am a product of my culture

Friendlier People

Cheap gas/food/products


The fantasies and imaginings and ‘dreams’ I had created about a future here.

Summers on the beach

Going to the ocean or the woods when I feel stressed or overwhelmed or adventurous.

The cats

The horses

My coworkers/work dynamic

The experience of a small town

Open roads
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