Purchasing Self-Expression: The Perfect Perpetual Industry

I had an experience in my life where I moved from a corporate office environment in Canada, to a farm in South Africa, and then to a mountain town in Panama where I work from home. With these changes came some serious wardrobe changes, where my clothes from one environment were pretty much useless in the next one.

The interesting thing I noted was how the clothing and accessory changes changed my experience of myself. Where, in the office I would be quite fancy, with jewelry that matched my outfit, hair done, sometimes even with the nails and definitely makeup. I felt quite glamorous and professional, and a fresh new outfit would have me walking into the office full of confidence.

On the farm and in Panama, my clothing became purely practical. I noticed I felt I was now lacking certain experiences. I felt less confident, slower and less vibrant. I had to learn how to live these expressions now in Who I Was, because I could no longer simply purchase them from a store.  

With the glamour point which links in to the consumerism point, for me what I see is where an entire industry has been built around people seeking to fulfill desires – desires which have arisen from us not accepting and allowing ourselves to live certain expressions, and so separating ourselves from those expressions, leaving us feeling ‘unfulfilled’.

We then seek to fulfill ourselves through the experience a product or lifestyle (or any external experience) will apparently give us, which will obviously never be enough as we are not living it for ourselves. So we keep bouncing back and forth from one polarity to the other – from fulfilled (only temporarily as an experience) to unfulfilled (the reality of Self through separating Self from living self-expression) – thus creating the perfect industry: the more money you have, the more you can spend on attempting fulfillment. The more glamour in this case, the more the person is showing how unfulfilled they actually are, and so have to keep paying to keep the feeding the experience.

The cool part is that you can look at what desire the product represents that we are seeking to fulfill, and then see how that can be lived as a living expression of Self instead, thus creating actual self-fulfillment – where glamour can then become an act self-expression (which means if it were lost or taken away, we would not change).

The not so cool part is that until we fulfill ourselves as living expressions, we will be consumers of experience, consuming Life as the resources of the earth in self-interest as we seek to fulfill our desires that we ourselves created in the first place through separation.

Living in Abundance or Living in Lack?: micro-blog from Desteni Universe

I finally found a rug that Ghost can shed all over and it won't make a difference!
Today's action shot is about lack, and how I have created it throughout my life through things like 'saving money', 'living frugally' and other such budget-oriented terminology.

I have wanted a fake bear skin rug for years now. I liked the idea of stepping out of bed in the mornings and on to the softest surface, and having that be the first physical experience of the day.
But I never got one because it wasn't necessary, was not an essential element required to survive, was a complete and total luxury with no real purpose except enjoyment.

Then the other day I was in a store looking for mats for Ghost, and I happened upon these heart-shaped fur rugs for 20$, and as I ran my fingers through it I fell in love!

I have lived, over the years, in an absolute state of lack. It started in my childhood where my parents went through some tough times, and there often wasn't any extra to get the luxuries, and sometimes not even the necessities.

Being a child, I didn't understand why there wasn't enough. Both my parents worked, and there was nothing I could do to change the situation, so I just accepted it as 'that's just the way things are'.
Into my adult years I lived with this lack - the idea that there's not enough and there's not going to be enough no matter if I'm working or not - it is an endless rat race just to keep up.
ok, so this may be somewhat true - but the EXPERIENCE of lack is not necessary, and sometimes, from time to time I've done things to kind of 'jolt' myself out of that mindset. This involves living within one's budget, but from time to time, doing or buying something for pure enjoyment only.

This supports to create the experience of 'having enough', of abundance, of knowing that one's needs have and will be met, of getting what you need, instead of making a habit of sacrificing, cutting corners, and preparing for lack.
It is not necessary to do this, but it does support so long as it's done in awareness, with aligning one's starting point, doing it deliberately and not going Into the energy of consumerism which is what becomes addictive over time.
So now I have this awesome rug, which receives me every morning, which Ghost loves to sleep on, which is completely impractical in Panama lol! But which I absolutely enjoy every time I see it or step on it.
My moral here is for those that have lived like I have lived: like Spartans, where every penny is treated like it's the last one and abject poverty is seemingly just around the corner - remember that it can be overwhelmingly a mindset before it is an actual reality, a reality that may never actually manifest!
My advice would be to manage your money, but from time to time do something exactly how you want to do it, just as a reminder of what it could be like to live in a world of support where all needs are met, that abundance that is here but not yet realized, and that expression of self-care that you WILL provide for yourself in this world, because that is what you would want for others and for the world as a whole.

Day 216 - My Stay at the Desteni Farm

My Stay at the Desteni Farm

            I can’t believe I’ve been at the farm for 17 days already! Time flies – which is a good reminder to make the most of each moment! This is a lesson I take seriously, especially as I settle in here at the farm. I thought it would be easy to adjust to the life-style and pace here, because when I visited two years ago, things were easy and comfortable. This time, however, knowing it was a more long-term stay, my body needed some time to settle in with regards to the climate, food, and then there's the need to structure my own time for myself. There are no schedules given to me here, no boss to keep me in line, and nobody looking over my shoulder to see what I am up to. Here, I must rely on self-honesty and self-movement. I want to make the most of my time here, and push the points that would have me do otherwise.

The Environment

            The environment here is amazing, unlike anything I have experienced at home in Canada. It seems like around every corner there is something new and exotic for me to see and understand.  Whether it be plants, animals, man-made structures or even people, everything is quite different due to climate, geography, political landscape, culture and economy. 

           The one thing that remains constant is the fact that no matter which environment we are born into, we all have the same basic need and the requirement for support. Here in South Africa, the consequences of lacking such basic support are more apparent. This is something to which I choose not to turn a blind eye – but rather to understand and penetrate so that I truly know what it looks like to live in lack, and so be able to place myself in the shoes of another.

            The living space here is at the same time incredible, and basic. I do not have the luxuries I get at home. This does not mean, however, that I feel deprived. Everything that is here is taken care of and used responsibly; items are recycled, repaired, and reused, daily tasks are managed well, and even the kitchen scraps are a valuable source of food for the chickens and other wild animals.  

       Within this, I can see the results of people taking self-responsibility, considering the group as one and equal (which includes the humans, the animals (both wild and domestic), as well as the physical environment), and treating the physical space here as an extension of themselves. 

I found it quite easy to let go of the luxuries I was used to and adjust to enjoying the simple things – the awesomness of nature, a hot bath (it is quite cold here at the moment, especially at night), unbelievable people, a hearty meal, a hot cup of tea, a fire at night, succulent fruit, fun and playful moments with animals and Caesar. Consumerism globally runs like a rampant disease in this world, and the amount of stuff we own that is one-time use or cheaply made is the source of a lot of problems, both environmental and on an internal level of what we are accepting and allowing. But here, life takes place within and as simplicity, yet every need or want I have expressed has been accommodated for wherever and however possible, and if not possible, alternatives are given.  Letting go of the apparent ‘luxuries has been like a breath of fresh air.

            The bedrooms here are clean and spacious, providing a place for everything including working on the computer. The importance of one’s personal space is understood and honoured, as we all need a place to rest, work, or just spend time alone if we want. Aside from the bedrooms, everything else is shared and communal, yet it never feels crowded – even at dinner time when everybody comes together to serve up a meal. Everyone pitches in and is busy with their own projects and responsibilities, all the work gets done, just like in nature, nothing is ever rushed.

I will continue in my next blog with: The People!

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Day 200 - The Valentine's Day Revelation

Valentine’s Day

Why do we desire Valentine’s day to be a special and romantic day? Why is it expected of the man to bring gifts to the woman in order to make her feel special or loved?  In today’s world it seems it is simply expected for something special to happen on this day. But is it possible to look into this desire for an emotional experience on this day, and trace it back to a source, where it started, why it started, and how advertisers play on this desire in order to catch us in a wave of purchasing in order to satisfy an emotional or feeling need we don’t necessarily understand?

When I look back at some of my earliest memories of Valentine’s day, there is one in particular that stands out, and when I play back the memory in my mind, and I re-experience how it made me feel, I can see there it is distinctly connected to the need or desire to be made to feel special on Valentine’s day, and still yearning for this experience nearly 25 years later.

I was about 9 years old and I was in class on Valentine’s Day. I noticed some students were receiving many fancy cards and there was laughter and commotion all around them. I had been sitting alone, with few cards and no activity around me. It suddenly felt as though I was part of a movie set where the spotlight was shining on the other students and I was not even in the scene. I felt invisible, forgettable, ignored.

Had it not been for this play-out, I would have been fine, and it would have been another normal day. But instead, I had reacted, and I had made a judgment about myself, one which was reinforced many times over many Valentine’s Days and similar events, and one which was unnecessary. This judgment would limit and diminish me in so many little, seemingly insignificant ways  as I became a teenager and then a young woman, as if my relationship with myself had been somehow poisoned and made slightly toxic.

The proof that the judgment remained lies in the fact that when I finally had someone to spend Valentine’s Day with, I now desired to be in the spotlight, to get the attention and to be made to feel special. I needed to prove to myself that my judgment was wrong: that I was not in fact invisible, forgettable and ignored. But I was using others and outside influences to now make me feel right again within myself.

So what’s the moral of this story? It’s the importance of learning how to take self-responsivity for one’s own reactions and to direct them as they happen, instead of accepting and allowing moments of reaction to define oneself as more or less than one really is. Self-acceptance means accepting myself as I am, Complete and unconditional self-acceptance allows for the greatest self-expansion. The indicators of where in your life you are holding onto an unresolved moment are the seemingly unexplainable secret wishes and desires for people in your world, events and play-outs, to make you feel something inside of you that is different than how you currently feel.

It’s considered normal and even expected for couples to make Valentine’s Day special for each other. Why not let this day be an expression of gratefulness for each other, where there is no manipulation of feelings and emotions to fill past voids or the desire for proof – these are the types of seemingly innocent and normal things that poison the relationship between two people, because it is impossible to fulfill this in another person.

How we feel within ourselves is our responsibility, and with that responsibility comes great power- the power to change yourself and become something more than you ever could have imagined. Don’t let the consumer machine capitalize on our vulnerability. Empower yourself and be your own self-fulfillment. Check out this free online course, where you’ll learn how to take responsibility in moments of reaction, to let go of self-judgment, and walk in the moment with presence and awareness, instead of living in the limiting grips of the past. It’s free, there is no charge, it’s about empowering people, no strings. I learned the material and still apply it every day, it’s worth investing your time in, click HERE to find out for yourself!