Day 194- Becoming My Own Safe Haven

" Assertiveness as Steadfastness as Breath as Consistent Equilibrium, is How we Learn to be Able to Manage the Storms of Life and to Emerge from it As a Harbour that becomes a Safe Haven"

“if you don't move it through writing, it's just going to continue to weigh you down within you cause you are accumulating it by not moving it”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry and stress about moving locations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the reality that my environment is going to change drastically.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist directing my reality for fear of taking responsibility, and within this:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become aloof and pull back within myself and allow situations and events play out without my input, participation or direction, within the hopes that I can reemerge at a later point when things calm down, in hopes that it will all work out, leaving myself to  deal with the consequences, which may be detrimental to me, maybe not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become anxious and fearful and then angry with myself when I don’t step up and direct events in my life, and within this:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue to become aloof and retreat within myself when the time comes where events in my life need to be directed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to retreat and withdraw within myself during big changes or when I make decisions, within the thought, idea, perception or belief that I don’t know how to direct it, or I don’t know what to do, or where to begin.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive that if I don’t already know something, or if it is not clear right away, then I am helpless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear putting in a sincere effort, because it is more difficult and there is risk involved, because it may be difficult, it may not work out, or it may fail.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive that if Iapply myself fully and put in a sincere effort, that failure is a possibility, because in reality, there is always a solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project into the future, all the ways in which my efforts can lead to failure, when the only real failure that exists is giving up.

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Day 139- Assertiveness and Steadfastness as Breath (pt 3)

I wasn’t completely satisfied with the new definition I had ascribed to Assertiveness in my last post Here. I am re-defining the word so that I could practically apply it in my life and world, without judgment, thus breathing life into the word through my living application and birthing it as a living word within and as me.
I had been thinking about this, but then it really became clear as I was listening to the interview with the cat, wherein, the cat describes how sometimes, in order to be equal and one within assertiveness within a group, one has to ‘lower’ oneself as a bringing oneself down to the level of the weakest or least understood being, in order to understand and communicate with them in an ‘equal and one’ way. This would be to not expect more of them, or for them to ‘rise up’ to your level, if you happen to be more advanced in some way or area. It’s to bring oneself down, humbly, in order to understand the entirety of the being, where they are coming from, why they are that way. To Actually HEAR them, and Listen when they speak. That is what I would want for me, and I certainly have been in situations where others were superior to me in some way and I was NOT treated as an equal. I’ve been in situations where another was superior to me and used that superiority to make me feel less important, less heard, less understood, whether intentionally or unintentionally, as if I didn’t count as much as the more advanced ones. School is very much like this as well. Where slower students are not given the time and dedication they would need to catch up, or to figure out what exactly is the problem.
So, in my previous definition, I had included the word ‘high-ness’, and I found, before I heard the cat interview, that there was too much explaining and defining of other words and conditions. It should be very simplistic, but it wasn’t, and it didn’t ‘flow’. Usually when I re-define words it flows and it comes more easily, whereas ‘assertiveness’ was actually quite a struggle to re-define yesterday.
Once I heard the cat interview I knew it was just ‘off’. It’s cool because, as I was thinking about it before I heard the interview, I realized that I shouldn’t be working with the word ‘assertiveness’, but rather, with ‘assertive’, from which I derived: “A CERTainTy I haVE”, which is cool because the cat emphasized certainty within assertiveness (much like the certainty in a cat’s movement when they are assertive about wanting touch/affection/attention, or food/treats).
Therefore, my new definition of ‘Assertive” is:
I certainty I have, which I build and enhance, through applying the principles of equality and oneness as what’s best for all in my living actions, wherein that certainty would naturally emerge, first as a presence, and then into my living application, as I clarify and stabilize my stand as Who I AM in my Life and World.

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Day 138- Assertiveness and Steadfastness as Breath (pt 2)

For context as to why I am purifying and re-defining these word to living words, visit my previous blog: Day 137- Assertiveness as Steadfastness as Breath.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘assertiveness’ to the word ‘rude’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘assertiveness’ within the word ‘rude’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word ‘assertiveness’ and from the word ‘rude’ by defining the word ‘assertiveness’ within the word ‘rude’ in separation of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘assertiveness’ with the word ‘angry’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘assertiveness within the word ‘angry’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word ‘assertiveness’ and from the word ‘angry’ by defining the word ‘assertiveness’ within the word ‘angry’ in separation of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘assertiveness’ with the word ‘frustrated’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘assertiveess’ within the word ‘frustrating’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word ‘assertiveness’ and from the word ‘annoying’ by defining the word ‘assertiveness’ within the word ‘annoying ‘ in separation of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘assertiveness’ with the word ‘aggressive’,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘assertiveness’ within the word ‘aggressive’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate the word ’assertiveness within the word ‘aggressive; in separation of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to

fear assertive people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I can’t stand up to assertive people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that assertive people are trying to get or take something from me, and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that they will in fact get or take it because I will not be able to stand up to them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that assertiveness serves only to gain something or to take something from another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thin/believe/perceive that assertiveness is the same as bullying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that assertiveness is used to push people to do something they would not otherwise to, in the self-interest of the assertive person;

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that assertiveness does not necessarily have to be used in self-interest to forward/advance/improve one’s own condition at the sake of another being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as ‘not assertive’ because I think/believe/perceive assertiveness as an undesirable trait.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people that I have defined as ‘assertive’ because I think they are trying to get something unfairly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see/realize/understand that assertiveness can actually be an effective tool for change and realization.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to retract and recoil within myself in the presence of assertive people or in the face of assertiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad when I ‘m assertive because I think/believe/perceive that it causes others to retract and recoil within themselves.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that assertiveness only ever takes place in self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself as assertiveness because I fear I will be taking advantage of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive assertiveness necessarily implies that others must submit.

I commit myself to asserting myself as the self that I am within, through fear and resistance and self-doubt of myself as the mind, until I am that self that stands, constant and stable in every breath.

I commit myself to stand in the face of assertiveness as equal and one as assertiveness as me, wherein I do not place myself as 'less-than' assertiveness or assertive people, but rather stand firm, stable, clear, as certain as who I am.

I commit myself to trust myself as assertiveness, and to not use assertiveness to abuse myself or others in any way whatsoever.

I commit myself to assert myself as an equal, not greater or less than anything or anyone.
 

When and as I see I am retracting or recoiling in the face of assertiveness, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to equal and one assertiveness by reminding myself that Who I Am is not decided by others manurisms and behaviours, and who others are is simply a result of who and how they have lived, which has nothing to do with me, only what I represent to them. Thus, equal and one communitcation is still possible, and if not, then not. It is a choice on both parts, and I, as equal and one as assertiveness, assert myself to be this/as this choice, by not closing myself off and putting up walls or becoming defensive. I remind myself that nothing of me can be taken by another, nothing can be diminished by another. Only I can take from me and diminish myself, and I stand clear and certain that I am stopping this now, and no longer accepting and allowing such self-abuse within me, as me.

Dictionary definition:

Assertive:
1) Inclined to bold or confident assertion; aggressively self-assured.
2) Confident and direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views
3) Given to making assertions or bold demands; dogmatic or aggressive.
Sounding out the word:

Assertiveness

sounds like: A certain highness

I would say, the word makes the specific distinction that it is a ‘certain’ high-ness because it is specifying that we generally associate ‘high-ness’ with being better-than, or some kind of

comparison with others wherein there is judgment and a ‘winner’ and a ‘loser’. Like the word ‘highness’ as in ‘your highness, the king’, wherein the king’s life is somehow seen as more important and more valuable than the ‘commoners’ or the 'peasants’. Or 'get off your high horse', because one sees oneself as 'better than' others.... Nooooo. In my definition, the ‘high-ness’ is solely a comparison within self, as ‘who am I right now’ vs ‘who I would like to be’, ‘how have I limited myself’, vs ‘how will I now push ,my limits’, and ‘have I lived for myself only’ vs ‘have I lived in such a way that I will be leaving something worth living for for the generations o come’? So, it’s cool that the word ‘certain’ is in there because it important to make that distinction.
It's also cool that the word 'certain' is in there because there is a 'certainty' within assertiveness, wherein, one would have to be certain about what is abuse, what is alligned with the principle of equality and oneness, and what is necessary to be done in each moment. Without certainty, these things are not efficient and effective. Certainty is requireed to be assertive in an efficient and effective way.

New definition of 'assertiveness' that I can live:

Wherein one no longer accepts the limited self, enslaved by the thoughts, feelings, emotions, judgments, self-doubt, etc…. of the mind, but instead bases self on the physical reality that is Here, which is superior to the mind in every way. Wherein, in self-honesty, one elevates oneself with certainty to the ‘higher ground’ of no longer accepting abuse as the status quo, which is beneath us all,. Where one alligns oneneslf with certainty to the ‘higher cause’ of equality and oneness as life, above individuality and ego. And to recognize the absolute humility of doing so, of daring oneself to be ‘nothing’ for the sake of everything.

To explore yourself and reality through writing, and developing a platform of self-support, try out this free course: DIP LITE

 

 

 

Day 137- Assertiveness as Steadfastness as Breath

I am going to be exploring the meanings of these words: “Assertiveness as Steadfastness as Breath”. I am doing so because, at the moment, they are only words to me, and not a living reality that I understand and practically apply in my life. This is important because practical application of these words is required.

First I will have a look at the dictionary definition of both ‘assertive’ and ‘steadfast’:

Assertive:
1) Inclined to bold or confident assertion; aggressively self-assured.
2) Confident and direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views
3) Given to making assertions or bold demands; dogmatic or aggressive.

 

When I look at these words, I see that I have a reaction towards words such as ‘aggressive’, ‘bold’, ‘demands’ and ‘dogmatic’- which are words that, when I face them in others I would be ‘put off’ due to judgments I have made about them. I would judge them as ‘abrasive’, ‘annoying’, even ‘rude’. I see that in the past I would NOT want to be in a conversation with someone who possessed these traits, and I would in fact have the tendency to avoid them. So now to look at Why this is so:

The reaction I ‘m having towards these words is that, if I were in conversation with someone that possessed the qualities they describe, I would feel ‘less-than’, I would feel like I were talking to a wall, I would feel frustrated and angry because I judge myself as ‘not assertive’, and I would feel like the other person was ‘more valid’ simply because they were more assertive. I also see the fear of not being able to stand up to an assertive person, which makes me feel angry and resentful towards them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘assertive’ with a negative charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word ‘assertive’ as bad/negative/wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘assertive’ with the internal experience of ‘less-than’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘assertive with the internal experience of ‘less-than’ thus creating a relationship to the word ‘assertive’ in separation of myself, because in doing this, I will never in fact GIVE myself the opportunity to BE assertive MYSELF.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘assertive’ with the word ‘abrasive’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘assertive’ within the word ‘abrasive’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word ‘assertive’ and from the word ‘abrasive’ by defining the word ‘assertive’ within the word ‘abrasive’ in separation of myself.

Sometimes it is necessary to be assertive, and to be abrasive, for example when I am standing up within myself and not accepting/allowing abuse from another. In this type of situation I wouldn’t want my relationship to the word be such that I would avoid standing up for myself for fear of the very same judgment I have placed on the word itself. Instead, I would give myself the opportunity to be/become the living word, as me, in moments where such a being/becoming is required. Where no judgment is necessary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘assertive’ to ‘talking to a wall’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘assertive’ within ‘talking to a wall’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word ‘assertive’ and from ‘talking to a wall’ by defining the word ‘assertive’ within ‘talking to a wall’ in separation of myself.
I will not separate myself from assertiveness through creating the ‘walls’ I perceive others to become, and which I myself become. Instead I take down my walls of separation brick by brick through equal communication, understanding and self-honesty, so that eventually no walls exist between human beings and we realize we are all simply Here, coming from the same source and going to the same place. The walls we have built are walls built in self-interest due to fear and survival, because we live in a world of fear and survival, where we are pitted against each other, wherein the ‘other’s’ loss is our ‘gain’, and we must protect ‘our gain’ from those that have less; when in fact there is no real gain, we are all only ever losing, and the ones losing the most are our children and the generations to come.

I will continue to purify the word assertive, and then redefine it in blogs to come.