Day 217: My Stay at the Desteni Farm - The People

The People

The people here at the Desteni farm are simply awesome. Everyone here is walking their personal process of self-change, so each one is checking themselves, questioning and investigating their reactions, taking points back to self first, and then speaking or discussing an issue if necessary.  This makes for what I can only describe as a clear, calm and open atmosphere between people, from my experience. This makes for an awesome environment for self-reflection, because it becomes clearer that I am alone within myself, completely responsible for the creation of Who I Am and for sorting out my own consequences from past living, decisions and paly-outs in my life. I am alone within myself, but I am very much in a group here, walking as individuals, together in support.

            Each person here has a unique expression that creates a really nice diversity for discussion. Each has their own interests that they are focusing on, whether it be programming, baking, music, building, gardening, parenting, sports and more. There are families, couples and single people, so it is quite a mix. This variety of expression is the result of people getting to know themselves on deep and intimate levels, where they are expanding their interest, work and hobbies through experimentation, testing and looking at Who They Are within everything they do. And each person here is committed to writing and sharing their process of what they face in their lives within whatever they are currently busy with.

            With the writing, it’s cool to see what points people are facing internally, and then to watch them in their work or play to see how they are living their words. Because I have been walking my own process, I know what it takes to live the words you speak, and it is not so easy! So, when I see people here with the focus and dedication to truly live and stand as examples of what it means to live in a way that is best for all, equal and one, I know the work they put in to get there and it is inspiring to me, where I want to push myself to do the work for me as well. I also see the work that is being put in to support others out in the world, on the web, through courses and social media platforms, which is how I found out about this place and the tools of support. So I see the value and necessity to share, to give as I have received, and to build and create myself into someone that can equally share and support.

With the diversity and openness here, conversations often go back to points one is facing or has faced. Hearing all the different perspectives has given me incredible insights into myself, where points open up for me and I can see ways that I have been living that have been limiting or diminishing me. Not only that, but I am often supported, either directly or indirectly through others, to identify certain specific moments or events in my life, or patterns of behaviour that I can now write out in my own blog in order to sort out within myself. This supports not only myself to change, but anyone that is facing similar points to me can also read about my journey. In this way, others can have the same experience that I am having here, where sharing, relating and telling our stories can open up so much for each other, thus quantifying our processes of change. This is for anyone that understands that any real change that is going to happen in this world is going to start with change on an individual level.

            I also thoroughly enjoy meeting the other visitors that are coming from all over the world to spend some time here. I get to hear about their lives and what they do back home, we discuss challenges we’ve faced and successes we’ve had. Each person that comes here brings something unique, and in many ways, I am also getting to know myself better through the interactions I am having with them. One visitor that came with her children from the Netherlands, is working towards becoming a Life Alignment Specialist. She needed case

studies to complete her course and certification process. I’m pretty sure almost everyone here volunteered to do a session with her. I certainly did! The experience was amazing and I dug real deep into mind points that were contributing to a skin condition I have. I have since been writing out the points, as well as using supplements and creams to support my body, and in a short time I have begun to see results in the form of the skin clearing up, becoming calmer and less irritated and inflamed (I have seen doctors who have only prescribed steroids, which work temporarily, but is not a long-term solution for me, so I’m experimenting with a more wholistic approach).

            Another visitor, Garb from the US, has been amazing to observe. Her discipline to push herself to fill every day and live it fully while she is here is truly impressive. She is used to working long hours in an office back home, so here she has been challenging herself with more physical work, bringing her out of her mind and more into the physical, connecting to the earth and soil she has been working with. I have been learning from her how to develop this consistency and discipline, as it is something I have struggled with in the past.

We discussed these topics and more while we planted climbing plants that will eventually produce berries for the local birds to eat. Check out Garb's travel journal HERE. 

          Discussion and asking questions is cool and very supportive, but the thing that has the most impact on me personally has been to simply watch her live, again, standing as an example and the proof that I too can develop myself to become whatever I decide, so long as I apply myself (and within the practical limitations of physical reality, of course).

          


            

          For me, as someone that started off exceptionally shy and introverted, it has been very exciting to come out and express myself Here. I have been working on this point for years, but the difference is that back home, at work for example, there is so much extra ‘noise’ to deal with, in the form of gossip, ulterior motives, judgments and reactions. In that environment, we are to work as a team, yet in competition with each other in the face of job cuts or promotions. In this competitive environment, I found it exceptionally difficult to remain stable within myself, and was usually on the brink of ‘survival mode’, where keeping my job and keeping my boss happy were number one on my mind. I could express myself, but always had to make sure I was presenting myself in accordance with company values. Sometimes I found that company values conflicted with my own, and voicing myself had in the past caused some negative consequences for me in my career. Here, however, when I express myself and come out of my shell, I can just be me and express my principles of cooperation, equality and oneness.The difference is that I am now doing it to discover myself, Who I Am and what I am capable of, and not thinking about who I need to impress, or
staying on anyone’s ‘good side’.

          






          I will continue to share about my experiences at the Desteni Farm in blogs to come, so stay tuned, there will be more to come! But for now, please enjoy this video from the farm:

Cesar Discovers Video Camera

Day 214 - How Objectivity Can Be The Key To Unlimited Potential

Today I went from a terrified person with learning-disorder, to an inquisitive, expressive learner that defies expectations by living one simple word.

As promised, a recap on the challenge of living the word 'terrified', which I do quite naturally and well, to living the word 'observe', defined as to 'OBjectively SERVE' myself. The reason for this is that today I had to face one of my greatest fears: performing in front of a group as I am actively learning.

This is the conclusion of my previous post:

I Live to serve

https://steemit.com/life/@kimzilla/i-live-to-serve

The act of learning had become a hostile experience during my schooling years from a young age. The competition and the positive or negative re-enforcement never really worked for me. So when I had to train for a new job today, I woke up feeling terrified at how it might play out.

           Interesting how the mind works - expecting the worst, bringing up the most energetically charged memories, making it not only likely, but probable that if left unchecked, the same or similar experience will re-play.

When I went into the training room today I remembered to breathe and follow my instructions to remain objective. My nerves kept coming up into my chest, which felt tight and at times it was hard to breathe. But I continuously reminded myself to relax my shoulders and focus on understanding the information presented, and objectively observe what was going on inside of me.

How did I remain objective and what did I observe:

As the energy would come up I began just looking at it, defining it in words and letting it go, then bringing myself back to the room, the people, the information.

Secondly, in moments where I didn't comprehend, instead of keeping quite and hoping to catch up eventually due to fear of judgment, I confidently asked questions, not fearing that the information might have already been covered or that the question might sound 'stupid'. "Stupid' is a judgment, and I had promised myself to remain objective with myself.

Thirdly, when it came time to try out the application ourselves (in font of everyone on the projector), I immediately volunteered to go first. I expressed myself openly to the group, explaining that it felt awkward and slow to do something brand new, but that I knew I would pick it up in no time! This helped me to remain humble, being open about my learning process and not trying to hide it due to feeling vulnerable.

There is so much strength to be found within and as humility and vulnerability.

The cool thing is that, as I was processing in front of the group, feeling more comfortable than I ever have been, rather than terrified and self-judgmental, some of my natural curiosity and inquisitiveness was able to come through. Within this, I began asking questions about certain functions I was interested in knowing more about, asking if I could try trying different things out instead of just doing only what was being asked of me.

In doing this, I found a risk element that had not previously been identified in all the years the program had been around. The trainers that had flown in from Chicago were amazed and organized for a meeting to figure out a way to mitigate that risk.

There will be no praise or accolades here, as the whole thing played out in a very matter-of-fact kind of way. But for me, when I was able to truly appreciate what happened today, where I saw the living proof that I had gone from an aloof, detached, terrified introverted slow-learner, to someone that could keep up, experiment and investigate beyond what was expected of me, I felt like I had conquered moving mountains!

Within this, I saw my curiosity and fascination with how things work come out from some deep forgotten place within me, to the forefront where I actually enjoyed just being me. 

There is very little in life that is as profoundly rewarding an conquering ones fears, feeling comfort within self, and showing myself the living proof that I really can be the author of my own script.

I watched these videos for understanding myself and learning how to support me in these types of situations:

Captain, Crew, and Ship  
"What does it mean to be the captain of the crew and ship that is your life?

In this video Sunette shares the directiveness, focus, and responsibility of being the captain of your own ship and how that relates to the relationship we often have with our lives, where we sometimes let the waves and currents take us without direction.

If you found value in this video and would like to give back to Desteni, support our online store with more supportive material www.eqafe.com or sign up for the Desteni I Process where you will be shown how to live the principles and tools developed by Desteni here www."

The Nature of Fear  

What is it about fear that can make it so overwhelming?
What is the effect of fear energy on your mind, being and body?
How can you support yourself to change your experience in relation to fear so that you can stand as the directive principle regardless of the energy experience?

The interview that Sunette refers to is from the Fears & Phobias series on EQAFE: https://eqafe.com/p/retribution-fears-phobias

Self & Living has merged with its sister store, www.eqafe.com - check it out for more!