Gravity: A Beautiful Coward's Song: micro-blog from Desteni Universe

Looking at John Mayer's song 'Gravity', a song that strikes deep, yearning, mourning and soulful chords in me, bringing it back to self to see what exactly this song accesses on deeper levels.

I like the use of the word 'gravity' in the song because of its dual meaning. On the one hand, it is the "force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth", while on the other hand it also refers to the "serious or critical nature" of an issue, like the gravity of the situation we are collectively facing here on earth, for example.

Now, it is not uncommon for people to not want to face the gravity of the situation on earth, or the grave situations in their own lives, like in the song, where John Mayer sings "Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me" and "Just keep me where the light is" is like wanting to turn a blind eye from the grave, serious and critical things that require our attention, focus and intervention, while also wanting to only experience the 'positive' things in life, where the "light is".

For me, this song has me looking back on my life to all of the grave situations Ive faced, the deaths, the heartbreaks, the losses, the hurts, the struggles, the falls, the shames - and with the feel and tone of the song, I want to look at it as if life has been a constant beating down, as if some outside force is coming in and doing this unto me...

"Gravity is working against me, And gravity wants to bring me down".

...and then the song is like a pleading to stop, like saying 'please just stop and leave me alone and let me experience the light'.

It's interesting because in looking at this point I had a re-listen to the gravity recordings from EQAFE, where gravity itself explains its role in the creation and manifestation process, where we, each and every one of us, are in fact the creators of our own lives, realities and experiences, and the force of gravity in multi-dimensions has played a role in this self-creation process through the compression and layering of physical reality and the realities of each one of us.

Now, since the opening of the portal and the changes in existence, gravity is actually working WITH our beingness potentials, and supporting us through this manifestation process, where everything that happens to us, the good, the bad and the ugly, is all specific and is Here to assist and support us to shape, form, mold and create ourselves into and as our utmost potential selves, so long as we work WITH events, situations and play-outs in our lives moment-to-moment, breath by breath - which the only way it can be done.

So, it's in a way funny and ironic that John Mayor sings;

"Gravity is working against me

And gravity wants to bring me down"

When in fact, all gravity is asking of us is to work WITH it, to work WITH reality and everything that comes up and happens in our lives, in our minds and in our bodies, so that we can actually use our creative force to create, form and shape that potential that is here in terms of having all the ingredients as the words, the expressions, the forgiveness and changes we are capable of - all of it here at our fingertips.

So it's also quite ironic when he says:

"Oh I'll never know what makes this man

With all the love that his heart can stand

Dream of ways to throw it all away",

When in fact it is revealed in the recording that we know exactly what makes us (as it is US making/creating ourselves), and the 'throwing it all away" is the simple act of not taking self-responsibility for our own creation by blaming it on an outside force as if it is being done 'unto' us and thus apparently not within our own self-directive principle to direct.

My takeaways here are thus to embrace gravity, as it grounds me to this earth, and to face the grave part of myself, not flee to the light, but to delve into the gravity of the situations I have created and "dream of ways" to change them in terms of finding solutions to the problems and walking them through step by step, day by day. And to also look back on my life, and instead of focusing on all the hardships and difficulties, to focus on those parts of myself that I cultivated and accessed in order to get through them, to rise to the occasion, and to overcome them to the point that I am still here today, still walking, still pushing and still never, ever giving up.

From EQAFE - Gravity: The Origins of Gravity - Earth, Nature, and Weather:

Part One

"What if gravity was a force that not only existed in our three dimensional world, but also in levels of reality that we have not considered?
We know that gravity is a force that compresses and holds things together - but how far exactly does this force go and how have previous civilizations in history used this knowledge?"
 

Part Two

"Are you understanding the gravity of the situation?
That is a term we hear when we need to get clear about an issue and our responsibility within it. But what does that practically mean?
What role does gravity have to play in each moment of our lives, and how can we best use this understanding when facing challenges?"

Gravity Live in L.A.

Day 97- Paralyzing Pain (pt 2)

This is a continuation of my last blog, wherein I described waking up in pain worse than I've ever experienced 'out of the blue', meaning- without a direct accident or injury. The perspectve given in italics and surrounded by quotes is from this support article I found and am working through the suggestions given.

Anxiety Strain Fear Uncertainty Judgment Resistance

“This is your individual process - really. Stop accepting/allowing you to be preoccupied with other human beings. I suggest you also have a look at the words above. Where within your world you are still accepting / allowing you to participate in such emotions without applying you effectively and stopping them immediately”

 

Anxiety

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anxiety to continue to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to participate within and as anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to allow anxiety about the job that I do.

When and as I see that I am growing anxious about the job that I do- whether I’ll get a good one, the ‘right’ one, make enough money or make the right decisions I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself out of the energetic experience of anxiety by reminding myself that I can only work with what is Here, and make decisions based on each step as it comes, and that anxiety within this is not necessary to do it right or do it well, all I require is me, present and aware, Here, doing one thing at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to participate in anxiety about school.

When and as I see that I am participating in anxious thoughts about school, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself out of the anxious energy by reminding myself that I’m doing fine, and I can even rather enjoy the process of school and take it as an interest or a hobby that I can immerse myself in as I take it one step at a time till its’ done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest anxiety within and about my relationships.

When and as I see that I am creating anxiety within and about my relationships, I stop, and I breathe, I bring myself out of the energetic experience of anxiety by remembering that I am walking this process for me, and that the relationships I am in or develop in my world present me with new opportunities to see myself as who I am, to face myself as who and how I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be, and to challenge me to stand in moments where I am presented with the choice between self-responsibility and self-abdication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious about money.

When and as I see that I am projecting my mind in to the future about money and creating anxiety around the fact that money is not a guarantee- yet it is guaranteed that I will always need it and there’s so much I want to do, I stop and I breathe. I bring myself out of anxiety and back to the present moment by reminding myself that no matter what happens, I will do everything I can to support myself, and I will use all available resources to do so.

Strain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself within stopping a couple of habits I am directing myself to stop, instead of realizing that I can stop in one breath, and that it is not a strain, it is a choice made over and over to not stop, and until I make the decision and stand absolute within it, I must simply stop each times and breathe, no strain- simply stopping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create strain in my relationships, wherein I strain myself as my thoughts that I am responsible for everyone to step up and realize themselves, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I must step up first, and realize myself as Life, and my place and responsibility in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself by creating and holding high expectations of myself, without charting or mapping out a way or practical list of steps I must take to ‘get there’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself by getting down on myself when I turn out to not be perfect, instead of being patient with myself as I slowly change myself to that which I would like to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself by wanting and desiring to be done and changed and have it all figured out NOW, instead of giving myself the time of breath, as everything in this world moves breath by breath and cannot move any faster than that.

Fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word ‘money’ with fear and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting sick and being useless and dependent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the thought of getting sick and becoming useless and dependent with fear and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being rejected by friends and family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the thought of being rejected by friends and family with fear and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear regretting my career path choices.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the thought of regretting my career path choices with fear and thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

Uncertainty

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as uncertainty within my relationship and whether or not: the decision will stand, we will stand and the end result will be what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as uncertainty within my job choices and whether it is the best choice that will give me the best results fastest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as uncertainty with where I have chosen to live- whether it was the best choice or would things be better  in the other location.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as uncertainty with my choice of degrees, whether it was the best choice for me and will it lead to a career that suits me, or will it lead to a career at all?

I see, realize and understand that because I cannot predict the future, Life will always be full of ‘uncertainties’, and that the only thing I have control over making certain is Who I Am and how I apply myself in this life and this world, and so long as I have certainty within myself, then I can be certain that I can and will direct my life and world to an outcome that serves me and the principles I choose to live by.

Judgment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within my process and progress, instead of accepting myself in every way before I change the parts of me I cannot accept.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others instead of realizing that everything I judge in another is actually something I judge in myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly judge myself based on my appearance, wherein, if the judgment is that I look good, then I will feel good, and vice versa, therefore basing ho I Am on something as shallow and beyond my control as physical appearance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a heightened sense f judgment towards those closest to me, because they reflect me to myself the most, and instead of facing or even seeing the self-judgment, I project it on to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when I am around others, wherein all my secret self-judgment comes up and I then experience myself as ‘shy’ and ‘awkward’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as sloppy and lazy instead of pushing myself to become more disciplined.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as out of shape instead of eating well and exercising.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as boring and uncool instead of opening up and expressing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a ‘debbie-downer’ instead of taking some moments sometimes to simply enjoy my environment and the people in it.

Resistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist change, instead of realizing this is simply the mind’s tactic of keeping me ‘up there’ thinking and not grounded Here in the physical, working and changing through actual actions in reality, by doing and being, whereas the mind would prefer to remain the same and not change or be challenged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist pushing myself to write and do homework, instead of seeing and realizing that the experience of resistance only lasts for so long, until it gives way and I become interested and engaged in what it is I had previously been resistant toward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist taking responsibility for small things such as picking up after myself and keeping my living space clean. I do these things, but manifest resistance each time, instead of being grateful for my physical environment and all the ways it supports me and all the things I have to make life more comfortable such as clothes and dishes, a shelter and furniture.

When and as I see that I am creating and manifesting resistance towards tidying up after myself, doing dishes and laundry, vacuuming and putting items away, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to presence and awareness by bringing myself from resistance to gratefulness, wherein I am able to be grateful for each item in my environment, as well as the shelter it provides me, and so I direct myself to tidy and keep a clean living space as an act of gratefulness, with no reaction to the actions taken to do so, simply to do so with and as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest resistances towards job hunting, because it is not easy and it is humbling in that I have to start from scratch and have no experience in the field I want to work in. I direct myself to push through the resistances, and all the excuses I make to validate those resistances, and to pick up the intensity of my job hunt, as I want to be working as soon as possible.