I
woke up in the middle of the night with pain so bad in my head and back that
the thought occurred that I would prefer to die then to continue experiencing
this pain-lol! I took the first pain medication I could find, which I found out
later had been expired for two years, I got the only heating pad I have, which
is designed for cats, which only activates when there is enough pressure on it-
And I slept on and off on the couch and in the morning I could not move. I
could not get up until I absolutely had to to go to the bathroom, wherein the
pain literally took my breath away as I moved. I found some heavier pain medication and took it, but the pain persists, So I did a little research and
found the following article which I applied self-forgiveness on all the points I
could relate to:
“Perspective:
This specific area (upper back and neck) is
'related to' the 'manifestation system' of the experience of the words:
Anxiety Strain Fear Uncertainty Judgment Resistance
“Where your breathing is within constant anxiety within you - so your focus /attention is on the anxiety you experience within you, which cause strain within your application together with fear of the uncertainty of whether your application is effective enough - which cause self judgment within you and then the inevitable resistance to actually apply yourself. So, it's a 'cycle' that manifests as a system because of mind / thought participation.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed constant anxiety to exist
within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to breathe within
constant anxiety and with a constant focus upon the anxiety that I experience
within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly
focus on the anxiety that I have accepted and allowed to exist as a constant
experience within me, causing strain within my application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest fear
and uncertainty about my application within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose fear and
uncertainty instead of patiently developing self-trust.
I commit myself to be and become the patience, dedication, perseverance and
commitment necessary to develop absolute self-trust as Who I Am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself
about my application, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that
self-judgment does not change me or create results, is it a waste of time and
the outcome is self-sabotage, what does/will change me and create results that
are best for me is testing out my application and making adjustments where
needed.
I commit myself to the careful documentation of myself and my process in
order that I may understand what I am doing and why I am doing it, so that I
can test it out and look self-honestly at the results, and make common-sense
changes where needed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate
within and as self-judgment, wherein I have thus then created resistances
within me.
“The 'main cause' of this is your 'anxiety
towards others / other people' within your world: Your thoughts 'straining
much' towards other human being's reactions within your world towards you
because you are participating in this process. The question you have to ask
yourself ... is to ensure that you're doing this process for you, and you
alone. Other human beings and their 'thoughts and their minds' are really
irrelevant. At the moment you're allowing your mind to be preoccupied with what
could/might possibly be occurring within other human being's mind's, which is a
real mind fuck.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and
manifest anxiety within myself towards others in my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself
towards other human being’s reactions within my world towards me because I am
participating in this process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be preoccupied
with other human beings, and I remind myself that this is my individual
process.
When and as I see that I am straining much about other beings reactions
towards me because of my participation in this process, I stop, and I breathe.
I ground myself back in reality by reminding myself that I am doing this
process for me, and me alone. The thoughts in the minds of other human beings are
irrelevant, and I see the lack of common sense in preoccupying my mind with
what could/might possibly be occurring within other human being’s minds.
To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment