This is a continuation of my last blog, wherein I described waking up in pain worse than I've ever experienced 'out of the blue', meaning- without a direct accident or injury. The perspectve given in italics and surrounded by quotes is from this support article I found and am working through the suggestions given.
Anxiety Strain Fear Uncertainty Judgment Resistance
“This is your individual process - really.
Stop accepting/allowing you to be preoccupied with other human beings. I
suggest you also have a look at the words above. Where within your world you
are still accepting / allowing you to participate in such emotions without
applying you effectively and stopping them immediately”
Anxiety
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anxiety to continue to
exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to
participate within and as anxiety.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to
allow anxiety about the job that I do.
When and as I see that I am growing anxious about the job that I do- whether
I’ll get a good one, the ‘right’ one, make enough money or make the right
decisions I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself out of the energetic experience
of anxiety by reminding myself that I can only work with what is Here, and make
decisions based on each step as it comes, and that anxiety within this is not
necessary to do it right or do it well, all I require is me, present and aware,
Here, doing one thing at a time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to
participate in anxiety about school.
When and as I see that I am participating in anxious thoughts about school,
I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself out of the anxious energy by reminding myself
that I’m doing fine, and I can even rather enjoy the process of school and take
it as an interest or a hobby that I can immerse myself in as I take it one step
at a time till its’ done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and
manifest anxiety within and about my relationships.
When and as I see that I am creating anxiety within and about my relationships,
I stop, and I breathe, I bring myself out of the energetic experience of
anxiety by remembering that I am walking this process for me, and that the
relationships I am in or develop in my world present me with new opportunities
to see myself as who I am, to face myself as who and how I’ve accepted and allowed
myself to be, and to challenge me to stand in moments where I am presented with
the choice between self-responsibility and self-abdication.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious
about money.
When and as I see that I am projecting my mind in to the future about money
and creating anxiety around the fact that money is not a guarantee- yet it is guaranteed
that I will always need it and there’s so much I want to do, I stop and I
breathe. I bring myself out of anxiety and back to the present moment by
reminding myself that no matter what happens, I will do everything I can to
support myself, and I will use all available resources to do so.
Strain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself
within stopping a couple of habits I am directing myself to stop, instead of
realizing that I can stop in one breath, and that it is not a strain, it is a
choice made over and over to not stop, and until I make the decision and stand
absolute within it, I must simply stop each times and breathe, no strain-
simply stopping.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create strain
in my relationships, wherein I strain myself as my thoughts that I am
responsible for everyone to step up and realize themselves, instead of seeing,
realizing and understanding that I must step up first, and realize myself as
Life, and my place and responsibility in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself
by creating and holding high expectations of myself, without charting or
mapping out a way or practical list of steps I must take to ‘get there’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself
by getting down on myself when I turn out to not be perfect, instead of being
patient with myself as I slowly change myself to that which I would like to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself
by wanting and desiring to be done and changed and have it all figured out NOW,
instead of giving myself the time of breath, as everything in this world moves
breath by breath and cannot move any faster than that.
Fear
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having
enough money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word
‘money’ with fear and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear my own fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting
sick and being useless and dependent.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the
thought of getting sick and becoming useless and dependent with fear and thus I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being
rejected by friends and family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the
thought of being rejected by friends and family with fear and thus I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear regretting
my career path choices.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the
thought of regretting my career path choices with fear and thus, I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
Uncertainty
I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as uncertainty within my
relationship and whether or not: the decision will stand, we will stand and the
end result will be what’s best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate
within and as uncertainty within my job choices and whether it is the best
choice that will give me the best results fastest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate
within and as uncertainty with where I have chosen to live- whether it was the
best choice or would things be better in
the other location.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate
within and as uncertainty with my choice of degrees, whether it was the best
choice for me and will it lead to a career that suits me, or will it lead to a
career at all?
I see, realize and understand that because I cannot predict the future,
Life will always be full of ‘uncertainties’, and that the only thing I have
control over making certain is Who I Am and how I apply myself in this life and
this world, and so long as I have certainty within myself, then I can be
certain that I can and will direct my life and world to an outcome that serves
me and the principles I choose to live by.
Judgment
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself
within my process and progress, instead of accepting myself in every way before
I change the parts of me I cannot accept.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others
instead of realizing that everything I judge in another is actually something I
judge in myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly
judge myself based on my appearance, wherein, if the judgment is that I look
good, then I will feel good, and vice versa, therefore basing ho I Am on
something as shallow and beyond my control as physical appearance.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a heightened
sense f judgment towards those closest to me, because they reflect me to myself
the most, and instead of facing or even seeing the self-judgment, I project it
on to others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself
when I am around others, wherein all my secret self-judgment comes up and I
then experience myself as ‘shy’ and ‘awkward’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as
sloppy and lazy instead of pushing myself to become more disciplined.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as
out of shape instead of eating well and exercising.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as
boring and uncool instead of opening up and expressing myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as
a ‘debbie-downer’ instead of taking some moments sometimes to simply enjoy my
environment and the people in it.
Resistance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist change,
instead of realizing this is simply the mind’s tactic of keeping me ‘up there’
thinking and not grounded Here in the physical, working and changing through
actual actions in reality, by doing and being, whereas the mind would prefer to
remain the same and not change or be challenged.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist pushing
myself to write and do homework, instead of seeing and realizing that the
experience of resistance only lasts for so long, until it gives way and I
become interested and engaged in what it is I had previously been resistant
toward.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist taking
responsibility for small things such as picking up after myself and keeping my
living space clean. I do these things, but manifest resistance each time,
instead of being grateful for my physical environment and all the ways it
supports me and all the things I have to make life more comfortable such as
clothes and dishes, a shelter and furniture.
When and as I see that I am creating and manifesting resistance towards
tidying up after myself, doing dishes and laundry, vacuuming and putting items
away, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to presence and awareness by
bringing myself from resistance to gratefulness, wherein I am able to be grateful
for each item in my environment, as well as the shelter it provides me, and so
I direct myself to tidy and keep a clean living space as an act of
gratefulness, with no reaction to the actions taken to do so, simply to do so
with and as breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and
manifest resistances towards job hunting, because it is not easy and it is
humbling in that I have to start from scratch and have no experience in the
field I want to work in. I direct myself to push through the resistances, and
all the excuses I make to validate those resistances, and to pick up the
intensity of my job hunt, as I want to be working as soon as possible.
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