This blog is continued from the specific self-forgiveness
statements made in my last blog wherein I took on the specific fears
that I hold in my mind in
relation to ‘getting out of doing the work’, and how I use them to justify not
doing homework assignments (and many things in life, but focusing here specifically on
my studies, as that is what I am currently confronting).
My goal is to work through my assignment, step by step, without all the unnecessary
‘mind-babble,’ or ‘mind-noise’ that distracts me, frustrates me and ‘causes’ me
to procrastinate and stress out, instead of just remaining Here and fully
applying myself within my work.
So, to check out the blog from which the following statements are directly related, click here.
So, to check out the blog from which the following statements are directly related, click here.
I commit myself to, when and as I see
that I am creating and manifesting the fear that I will not understand the
assignment, I stop, and I breathe.
I bring myself back to presence and awareness by reminding myself that I do not
have o participate in this fear and can simply let it go, because I see,
realize and understand that if I were to participate in the fear, it will lead
to the fear of not doing my work well, then to the fear of being judged by the
teacher, which leads me to contemplate giving up before I even start, which
makes it more difficult to start which then leads to procrastination, which
leads to rushed work, which causes stress, which leads to poor work. Within
this, I see how my decision to follow even one thought, as a fear in this
instance, can lead to an entire ‘cascade’ of thoughts
and fears which create resistances within me, instead of seeing, realizing and
understanding that by slowing the mind
down, I can ‘catch’ the thought when and as it arises, and then give myself
that opportunity to make the self-directed decision to not follow it, in which
case, I simply breathe myself out of the mind and into the body, and continue
reading/working on my assignment uninterrupted.
I commit myself to stop creating self-limiting fears within and as me, by
slowly learning, practicing and becoming aware of the fears as they arise in
one single
thought, and stopping them there where it’s most simple and easy for me to do
so (instead of accepting/allowing myself to ’build it up’ into an entire
‘cascade’ or ‘entity’ that then directs me as fear instead of me directing
myself Here, as Who I Am
as presence and awareness, as diligence and discipline, as patience and
self-understanding). Within this:
I commit myself to stop myself from accepting and allowing the self-limiting fears to exist/grow within and as me by stopping myself from continuously bringing p past memories of past moments where I did not understand the assignment and so I did it wrong and failed, or feared to fail, wherein I will in my mind, take quick glimpses of that memory as a ‘reminder’ to myself of the fears I have participated in in the past, thus bringing forth that past energetic experience into the present moment as if it were Here with me as my reality, when in fact I can clearly see, realize and understand that my reality is the present moment and thus subject to my self-direction, in which case I can direct myself to change my behavior and NOT re-live/repeat past instances of failure or fear of failure, but rather live each moment as a new moment, wherein I can apply myself to be/become that which I wish to be and become.
I commit myself to simply let go of the old memories that I hang on to which do not serve me in any way whatsoever, by constantly and continuously, diligently and patiently, and within self-discipline and self-understanding, keep bringing myself back to the present moment using the tool of breath, human physical breath that takes place moment to moment, a new breath for each new moment, as breaths cannot be recycled, held onto or re-used, and so I will also live to a certain extent, wherein I will myself to direct each moment as Who I Am Here, instead of by who I was ‘before’ or what I fear.
I commit myself to stop myself from accepting and allowing the self-limiting fears to exist/grow within and as me by stopping myself from continuously bringing p past memories of past moments where I did not understand the assignment and so I did it wrong and failed, or feared to fail, wherein I will in my mind, take quick glimpses of that memory as a ‘reminder’ to myself of the fears I have participated in in the past, thus bringing forth that past energetic experience into the present moment as if it were Here with me as my reality, when in fact I can clearly see, realize and understand that my reality is the present moment and thus subject to my self-direction, in which case I can direct myself to change my behavior and NOT re-live/repeat past instances of failure or fear of failure, but rather live each moment as a new moment, wherein I can apply myself to be/become that which I wish to be and become.
I commit myself to simply let go of the old memories that I hang on to which do not serve me in any way whatsoever, by constantly and continuously, diligently and patiently, and within self-discipline and self-understanding, keep bringing myself back to the present moment using the tool of breath, human physical breath that takes place moment to moment, a new breath for each new moment, as breaths cannot be recycled, held onto or re-used, and so I will also live to a certain extent, wherein I will myself to direct each moment as Who I Am Here, instead of by who I was ‘before’ or what I fear.
When and as I see that I am ‘glimpsing’ old memories by accepting/allowing them
to seemingly ‘pop’ up randomly I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to
the present moment by becoming aware of the fact that I am re-living past
memories by identifying them by the feeling or emotional
experience they create within/as me; by stopping and deleting them by saying
delete out loud or disintegrating them in my mind, I breathe through the emotional
or energetic experience they (I) created within me as me, and then take back my
self-directive principle by reminding myself that I am at the wheel here, I
decide, I direct me. Then I direct myself to either: focus back on the work,
take a quick stretch, or breathe for a moment, and then return to my studies.
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To be continued…
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