21 Days of Osho Card Readings - Day12 of 21: TURNING IN

I was JUST discussing with @worldclassplayer about pulling the same Osho card as on a previous day. I contemplated doing a re-pull, but we both settled on looking deeper into the meaning of the card, as maybe something was missed, or a new dimension has opened up.

The intention I was holding within me when pulling this card was yet another dimension of 'work', or 'working'. The new dimension that came up yesterday while I was working and reflectin upon my last blog, was the 'people pleaser' character. It was causing stress and tension, which manifested in the form of upper back pain.I will expand upon this point, but first, a little background: The reason the 'work' point has been stubbornly coming up day after day for me is because I am essentially 'working' all the time. Meaning, I am living, applying myself, focusing on my goals for the day and the future. Even when I relax it is work, because it is done in awareness as self-work.

Within this, my definition of 'work' is not the usual one we have all come to know so well, which exists within the polarity of work and play, where work is the opposite of play. I am pushing for living my re-definition of the word 'work', and the Osho cards have been supporting me immensely. My re-definition of the word 'work' involves a fluidity and a flow, a balance and an ease within me, within the understanding that work is love made visible. The letters in the word work then stand for Wholly Operating Reality Knowledge, where I am fully present, wholly operating within physical reality with a knowing, or a knowledge and awareness of the points my mind is super-imposing on to that reality.

Yesterday, while working in the kitchen for many hours, I noticed the points that were coming up and affecting me physically. When I looked at the thoughts that were creating the tension, I was able to deduce that I was going in to the desire for my work to please others. Instead of simply walking and enjoying the steps in a relaxed and easy manner, I began to go into judgments and criticisms about what I was busy with. I imagined all the 'what-ifs' and different disapproving reactions from the people I would be serving.

Several hours in, @gian walked in and checked in on me. I told him about the pain and the tension and he released it from my back. Within discussing with him, I was able to bring in more awareness to what I had been doing so automatically. He explained to me about 're-setting', giving myself a fresh moment to simply stop, let it go, and start the moment anew from a fresh starting point. This implies simply letting it go, which is what this card can support with.

My mind was busy while I was working, and I did not question it's activity, but instead went right into it, believing it to be real, to be true, to be who I am. I was reacting as if the thoughts in my mind would unquestionably come to pass, instead of simply observing my mind objectively, letting the thoughts go, being amused at the ridiculousness of such thoughts. This is what I understand from the 'Turning In' card.

This is a multi-faceted point for me, which I have been living my whole life. It has proven to be a stubborn one that is deeply programmed into my living, but I am up for the challenge. Writing is invaluable, in that, without the understanding and the road map of what not to do, how to navigate what my mind throws as me, and what to do about it, I would certainly become lost in the tangled mess it appears to be when we don't take it piece by piece and sort it out.

Note: I am walking a process of self-change using the tools of support offered by www.Desteni.org. I am taking the course called DIP Pro. In this course I learn how to take every day moments and find ways to make myself a better, more understanding and well rounded human being, the kind of human being I would like to see in this world. "Be the change you want to see" is a cool saying, but actually doing it is a bit more confusing because people tend to believe that you can't change human nature. I believe you can, because I have seen myself changing to someone I've always wanted to be. Not there yet, but my motivation is fueled by the proof I have given to myself, which I have documented online every sep of the way, in my blogs and on youtube. DIP Pro requires serious dedication and commitment, it is ot for the faint of heart. If you want to test the waters for yourself, try the Lite version, it's called DIP Lite, and the best part is, it's free! Why? Because Desteni puts individual self-change above profit. Why does DIP Pro cost money? Because it costs money to exist in this world, and takes a dedicated team to run the program. Otherwise it would also be free.
Visit www.Desteni.org

Day 92- Death by Pleasing Others (pt 3)

This is a continuation of my last blogs: Day 90- Death by Pleasing Others, and Day 91- Death by Pleasing Others (pt 2)





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about myself when I think/believe/perceive others like me or are pleased with who/how I am.





I commit myself to see/realize/understand that ‘feeling good’ about myself contains the polarity of ‘feeling bad’, and that I can’t have one without the other, and thus I see/realize/understand that self-equality has no charge, as it ‘just is’, which leaves no desire to experience myself any other way than Who I Am in every moment.






I commit myself to stop trying and attempting to manipulate my environment and those around me to change my experience of myself, and to instead take self-responsibility for my self-experience by looking at the root cause for why I would want/need/desire to experience myself any other way than just existing in the moment, Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like and be pleased with myself when I think/believe/perceive others are pleased with or like me.

I commit myself to base my self-observation on the physical reality of myself, and the outflows of my actions and decisions and whether or not they are best for all.

I commit myself to investigate all ways in which I ‘don’t like’ myself, in order to understand why it is that I would look for that from an outside source instead of giving it
to myself. Within this, I commit myself to stop judging myself or aspects of myself where I’ve decided that I ‘don’t like’ them, instead of having immediately stopped the judgment or the behavior that did not honour myself as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define how I feel about myself based on how I perceive others feel about me.

I commit myself to stop taking others reactions personally, whether they are positive or negative.

I commit myself to see/realize/understand that the reactions of others comes from their internal processes that may be affected by the day they had, or the week they had, or the month or maybe even an entire life experience that is creating a reaction within them, that has nothing to do with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my self-image on energy, on how I feel inside- wherein, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my external environment, and the people within it, to affect how I feel inside myself, within and through the relationships I have developed with people and things in my external environment, instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that these relationships are entirely my creation, my thoughts/beliefs/perceptions, therefore they are all merely reflecting me to myself, and how I feel about myself, and my self-relationship.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the relationships I create with people, in terms of my reactions to their reactions, are completely my creation, and are always showing me something about myself, and thus:

I commit myself to purify my relationship with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my self-relationship on energetic internal experiences, instead of basing it on measurable physical actions and their outcomes.

I commit myself to stop trusting my internal emotional and feeling experiences, which I don’t even understand how I created them, and to instead trust what is tangibly measurably, observably Here, in reality as the outflows, outcomes and consequences of my actions, on myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base anything of myself on energy, within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicating myself to energy.

I commit myself to take back my self-direction and self-responsibility from my mind and energy and to walk myself instead back into awareness as Life, as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be perceived as ‘good’, ‘right’, ‘positive’.

I commit myself to stop my participation within the positive/right/good-negative/bad/wrong polarity construct and to realize and understand that there is no good/bad, positive/negative/ right/wrong- only what is Here, and whether it is in consideration of the whole as what’s best for all, or whether it allows abuse to continue.

I commit myself to be and become aware of my place and my responsibility within myself and the world-systems, and to equalize within myself so that I may be a living standing example of and as equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect praise and pleased-ness of others to feeling good/right/positive within and as myself.

I commit myself to sever the connections I have made to reactions, actions, words and deeds so that I may end the separation with/as myself.

Day 91- Death by Pleasing Others (pt 2)

This is a continuation of Day 90- Death By Pleasing Others



I commit myself to walk myself out of ego and into physical reality, by stopping feeding my ego with negative/positive energy through stopping judging experiences outside myself in relation to me, to actually become a REAL Agent of self-change and thus, global change as I am inextricably linked to the whole.






I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try/attempt to please others in self-interest, in order for me to feel better about myself and who I am, instead of giving myself that which I have separated myself from in order that I may be whole, and thus not seek any kind of fulfillment from others.





I commit myself to, in every moment, give myself that which I have separated myself from, by stopping my relationships with it, thus becoming equal to and one with it.





I commit myself to effectively end self-interest within and as me, by changing the starting point of all my decisions to a consideration of the whole within the principle of ‘do unto others’.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to please people because it’s easier than standing up within myself.





I commit myself to directing myself to equality with others, wherein I do not use them to feed my ego nor to hide, nor to fear expressing myself as Who I Am.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself within pleasing others, by hiding Who I Really Am within myself, and only behaving in ways which I think/believe/perceive others may be pleased by/approve of.





I commit myself to Standing up within myself, fearlessly as all as one as equal, by revealing myself completely and accepting myself completely, no matter who I’m around, where I am or what I’m doing.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make people-pleasing into an ego-trip.





I commit myself to treat others the way I would like to be treated, which is within/as self-honesty and self-responsibility.





I commit myself to stop creating relationships of separation with people and my environment in an attempt to gain something from them/it, and to instead stand clear within myself as Who I Am, and my self-relationship.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about myself when I think/believe/perceive others like me or are pleased with who/how I am.



I commit myself to see/realize/understand that ‘feeling good’ about myself contains the polarity of ‘feeling bad’, and that I can’t have one without the other, and thus I see/realize/understand that self-equality has no charge, as it ‘just is’, which leaves no desire to experience myself any other way than Who I Am in every moment.




When and as I see that I am accepting/allowing myself to feel pleased with myself based on how others are reacting to/towards me I stop and I breathe. I bring myself back to physical reality by looking at what I am actually doing, and assessing it based on whether it is what’s best for myself within equality and oneness with all, or based in self-interest In trying/attempting to create an internal energetic experience for myself. Within this, I effectively stop myself from feeding my ego as self-interest by judging myself or others as ‘good/right/positive’ or as wrong/bad/negative, which would be placing myself above or below others which is not acceptable. I embrace myself within and as self-acceptance, and stop the energy-seeking behavior by checking my starting point and focusing on my breathinguntil it is aligned with doing what’s best for all, which is being/becoming equal within/as myself first.

To Be Continued...

Day 90- Death by Pleasing Others

 

This is a continuation from Day 89- It's Not You, It's Me
 

The ‘people pleaser’ character


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people won’t like me because of who or how I am behaving or have behaved in the past or will behave in the future.

I commit myself to direct my behavior to that which is best for myself as all, and in this, I commit myself to take myself back from the direction of pleasing others.
I
 forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people will become unpleased with me due to my behavior in the past/present/future.


I commit myself to look practically at my behavior, and to stop basing the value of what I do upon how others react, and instead I commit myself to assess my behaviour for myself as to whether or not it is self-honest.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being liked by others outside myself.

I commit myself to base Who I Am on my actions/words/deeds, without fear of how they may or may not be perceived.


I commit myself to learn and understand how I create myself and to take complete self-responsibility for myself as my creation I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others are judging me in their minds.

I commit myself to realize, see and understand that I am not a mind reader, and within this, that I can never really know what others are thinking and that it does not even matter so long as I accept me and stand within who I am as Life Here, equal and one.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when I think others are judging me in their minds or their words.


I commit myself to stop wasting my time taking things personally and in so doing, take myself back from the fear that I accept/allow myself to exist within and as. Within this:


I commit myself to take myself back from fear by not accepting or allowing fear to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as who I am, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I commit myself to stand as who I Am regardless of what others may think.


I commit myself to take myself back from participating within and as self-reflection onto others by stopping and changing my internal reactions, instead of believing them and judging myself based on my perceptions, ideas and beliefs, thus I commit myself to continue walking my self-change.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to please people.

I commit myself to stop trying to please others as abdication of my responsibility to myself by placing it upon them to ‘make’ me feel good/positive/right, thus placing within them also the power to ‘make’ me feel bad/negative/wrong.

I commit myself to take myself back from pleasing others by stopping the energetic internal experience of good/positive/right, and bad/negative/wrong, by realizing, seeing and understanding that there is only that which is best for all and that which is self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed my ego with positive energetic feelings when I think/believe/perceive I have pleased others or others are pleased with me.

I commit myself to walk out of energy as ego by becoming equal to and one with it and changing as it by stopping my participation within/as it and directing myself to instead be equal to and one with the physical reality we all share and with everyone that shares it.

To be Continued...