Thursday, April 25, 2013

Day 180- Divorce: Secret Fear #3





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Within this blog I am picking up where I left off in my post: ‘Day 168- What Happens to Marriages?’ wherein I discuss the number one fear I’ve faced within divorce/separation. I am moving systematically through the fears I am facing within leaving a long-term relationship.

The following blog is directly related to: The Secrets of Divorce: Fear # 2, and Day 178- Divorce:Avoiding Self-Destructive Rebounding, and will be a re-scripting out of this fear and into self-equality:
Also continued from the self-correction of fear #2

Day179- Divorce: From Rebound to Un-Bound

 Fear #3:

The I fear I won’t be missed.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear I won’t be missed by those with whom I part, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/need/desire to be missed by those with whom I part.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/need/desire those whose lives I leave to miss me and think about me, because it makes me feel like I was important, loved and special/better-than according to at least one person.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/need/desire to be made to feel important, loved and special by another, instead of actually treating myself as important and loved by giving myself the time and attention to better myself, and to make the most of this one life I have, to reach for my potential, and to correct that about myself which is destructive or does not benefit me. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/need/desire to feel special, when all are equal wherein, if some were to be special it would imply the necessity of others being unspecial, which is yet another way to justify inequality and to preoccupy self within and as self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel better about myself by feeling more valued the more someone misses me, which in essence would mean someone else’s emotional pain would make me feel better about myself, which is obviously not acceptable because it implies that if the other person were stable and not falling into emotional reactions, then I would feel worse about myself.
To be continued…

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