Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Secrets of Divorce: Fear # 2





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Within this blog I am picking up where I left off in my post with the first fear: Day 168- What Happens to Marriages? I am moving systematically through the fears I am facing within leaving my 10 year marriage and facing the world head on, alone, for the first time.

For reference, also read: Day 176- The Secrets of Divorce

 

Fear # 2: What if I Do Not Find Another Before It’s Too Late? 

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I won’t find another partner before ‘it’s too late.’

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine that there is a specific time in life when it’s ‘too late’ to find a partner, and then fear that specific yet undefined time, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that if I’m not young/youthful that men won’t like me or won’t want to be with me.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my value and worth in my youth/youthfulness, instead of placing it in Who I Am as Life, as my thoughts, words and deeds.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I need to ‘catch’ a mate with my physical picture presentation, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive my picture presentation needs to be desirable, otherwise I will not get another partner.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe or perceive that it is acceptable to base a relationship upon judgment in the mind based on the picture presentation of a human being, instead of considering the entirety of the being and Who They Are.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that it is acceptable for myself to be with a partner that wants to be with me based solely upon my picture presentation, having not considered the entirety of myself and Who I Am.

 

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that no one will want to be with me if I’m older, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that older women are less desirable, and therefore, less ‘loveable’.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want, need, desire to be ‘loved’, thus separating myself from self-love, and placing ‘love’ outside myself, as someone else’s responsibility, thus creating the fear within me, that I may not receive it, instead of realizing that love is something I give to myself, first, and once I love myself, I can share myself with another fully and unconditionally.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I NEED a mate in this life.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that the point of life is to gain a mate and ‘be loved,’ and ‘be happy’, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can be my own point of life, completing myself, wherein sharing myself would become something unconditional, without wanting, needing or desiring some experience or fulfillment from another, which is an impossible condition that no one can live up to or give another, if they are not willing to give it to themselves first.

 

To be continued…

 

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