Within
this blog I am moving through the fear I face within not being in a
relationship. I have, for more than half of my life, been in a committed
relationship. Now that I find myself alone, I see that I had not developed many
aspects of myself that I require to be able to handle myself/life and
functioning as a self-responsible and self-sufficient human being in the world and
in my life. Before and as I move on, I first have to clear the fears of being alone, so that I can
release myself and my decisions from the starting point of fear, and re-script
myself to base myself and my decisions upon that which is best, which is
stable, which works, which is practical, which is beneficial.
This blog
is continued from:
Day 181- Divorce: The Fear of Not Being Missed (Self-Correction)
Herein, I am changing the script of ‘Who I Am’ from fear-based to
self-directive. I am basing each set of self-corrective statements and
self-commitments on the truths I revealed to/about myself in Day 180- Divorce: Secret Fear #3.
When and as I see that I am preoccupying myself with secret
wants/needs/desires of a man/relationship to fulfill my every want/need/desire,
to give me the ‘perfect life’, the ‘make’ me feel ‘important’, ‘special’, and ‘better-than’ how I normally feel, or how I perceive others feel ,I STOP, and I breathe. I
bring myself back to self-equality by reminding myself that only I can give
myself the gift of life. Only I can stand up and change myself and that about
me which is causing me to feel imperfect, un-fulfilled, and ‘less-than’. Only I
can treat myself as important enough to take the time and put in the effort to
do so. Nobody else can because each must do it for themselves, and hoping a man/relationship
will do it for me is like hoping for a savior to come and save me from myself.
I commit myself to treat myself as important and loved by
giving myself the time and attention to better myself, and to make the most of
this one life I have, to reach for my potential, and to correct that about
myself which is destructive or does not benefit me.
When an as I see that I am creating a positive energetic
relationship to the thought of someone missing me and being sad for having lost
me, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-honesty within the
realization that within my commitment to support myself as an equal
being/participant Here, I thus then choose to support others as me as one and
equal, and could not then support another to miss me, as they would only be
missing themselves, and I would only be basing my positive reaction on my own
mind interpretation of another's experience, instead of supporting myself and the other to realize
ourselves as capable of fulfilling ourselves and being ourselves instead of constantly
looking for ourselves in others.
I commit myself to be and substantiate myself based on the
mere fact that I am here and am of equal value and worth, instead of using the
reactions of others to define myself by, nor by which to determine how I feel
as an experience of myself.
To be continued…
http://www.kgaps.com/wp-content/uploads//puzzlepieces.jpg
To script yourself back into alignment with and as Life, learn these
self-supportive writing tools, visit: DIP LITE- a free course where you
will learn to create a platform of self-support to be able to face yourself in
forgiveness and acceptance, and recreate yourself through your own
self-realization, in a way that honours and supports yourself to Live a Life
that benefits yourself and those around you.
Thank you for enlightening us through your informative writings. Divorce is, indeed, a difficult journey for a family. Both party, the husband and wife, needs serious guidance to properly settle it. Nobody wants divorce to happen in their life, but at some point, it will still come. It will be helpful for people involved in divorce to join support groups. This is to, at least, make you feel that you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteJermaine Gardner @ The Divorce and Family Offices