Day 85- Commiting to the Tools, the Group, the Principles and the Change

This is a continuation from Day 80- Desteni Character: Fear, wherein I am making self-commitment statements in order to stop limiting myself to a cast of characters based in fear, continuing with the Desteni character.

                                

I commit myself to stand within my decision to participate within Desteni, and to breathe through the thoughts, feelings and emotions stemming from fears in relation to Desteni and the controversy it may bring.

I see, realize and understand that any real change is going to be fraught with resistance, and that the brutal self-honesty demanded by the principles of oneness and equality are going to bring up both the best and the worst in people, the worst which, if not directed and forgiven, may be projected towards myself or others involved within Desteni.

I commit myself to remain the same yesterday, today and tomorrow despite the turbulence that might exist around me.

I commit myself to stop avoiding controversy, and to instead stand as Who I Am no matter what.

I commit myself to continue applying self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application in order to see points in my life through from beginning to end, to continue proving to myself the effectiveness of taking self-responsibility, and thus being a living example of the tools and their effectiveness.

I commit myself to let go of the desire to ‘prove’ myself to anyone but myself, by living real change, because that which is real does not need to be proven.

I commit myself to stop provjecting into the future of the possible harm that may come to those enacting change within themselves and the world, because:

I see, realize and understand that if I accept and allow fear to stop me, then I accept and allow it to stop others, and within this ‘stopping’ I will not be an agent of change and I will not be able to stand as one vote, which is all I have the power to do. I choose to be one vote for world equality.

I commit myself to stand stable within my decision to be one vote, and to support others willing to do the same.

I commit myself to stand as self-honesty within my relationships by standing equal to them, and to never place the value of the relationship above myself and others.

I commit myself to free myself by taking self-responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

Day 79- Fear of Confrontation (Self-Commitment and Self-Corrective Application Statements )

Within this blog, I am writing self-commitment and self-corrective application statements from my previous blogs, Days 76 and 77. This is to assist and support myself to walk out of the fear of confrontation, and into and as a self-directed being of/as effective communication and self-authority.

I commit myself to push myself till I am able to stand stable in the face of confrontation or any other social interaction, within/through understanding my own mind and the within/as my mind fears I have created for myself, deconstructing those fears and seeing them for what they really are: limitation- Self-imposed limitation, that is. And within this, I realize I have a choice. Through self-forgiveness I can forgive myself for what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to live as thus far, because within forgiveness there is responsibility- the responsibility to change self- because a population of fearful and limited beings is not a population that will stand up for Life in this world. However, I can only take responsibility for myself, and change myself, because each is responsible for self and will face self at the end of the day.

When and as I see that I am suppressing myself due to the fear of feeling ‘bad or ‘wrong’ based on someone confronting me about something, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to awareness within the understanding that feeling ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ is no longer an option because now I have self-forgiveness: I forgive myself, I look at my starting point, and I change when/where necessary. In this way, I see, realize and understand that Life becomes all about learning, expanding and growing, instead of fearing, suppressing and controlling. Awesome.

Ego:

I commit myself to not take being confronted personally, because I understand the reaction of another is never about me, it’s only ever about self. Within this, I see, realize and understand that I can only make it about me if I am participating and interacting from a starting point of and as ego- because then all and everything is about me, thus:

When and as I see that I am participating with another from a starting point of ego- wherein I feel ‘attacked’ and like I’m ‘losing’ the fight, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back out of ego by breathing through the energetic experience of ‘loss’ and ‘defensiveness’ until the energy is gone. I realize that I cannot be trusted when I am participating within/as ego, so I direct myself to end the confrontation/interaction before I do any more damage/create any more consequences. I breathe, and I end it, and I realize that there is no competition, there are no ‘winners’ and ‘losers’. There is only effective or non-effective communication, and one is a waste of time.

I commit myself to write myself outwhenever I see that I participated from within/as a starting point of ego as one of many characters of the mind, until I see/realize/understand what triggered the character, why I accepted/allowed it, and how I developed it over time, so that I can effectively stop and erase that character in order that I remain Here through any and all interaction, as a stable being that can be trusted over time.

I commit myself to only participate in effective communication, and to perfect my communication skills till I can create/direct myself as an effective communicator of words that I Live as myself as Life.

When and as I think/believe/perceive that I have upset someone by what I have done/said, I stop, and I breathe. I stop myself from reacting in fear and I instead direct myself to look at the starting point of what I said. Can I stand by it, or was it from a starting point of ego. If I can stand by it, I humbly do. If it was from ego, I do not defend it, but rather stop, and let go, and breathe through the energetic experiences that may follow. I stop my participation until I see that I can be trusted to stand.

 

Authority

I commit myself to stop my reliance upon external authority, and to instead be/become a self-responsible being that considers myself and my place in this world, and acting according to principle, that I can be trusted and trust myself and Who I am in every breath, and thus not require authority.

When and as I see that I am accepting/allowing another to have authority over me, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-direction within the understanding that any influence authority has within me indicates a lack of self-authority, so I take back my self-authority by being/becoming the author of myself, through scripting and directing myself as who I am/will be as a self-honest being that does what’s best for all. So…

When and as I see that the authority of another is influencing me in any way, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-authority by stopping my reaction and letting go, then bringing myself back Here by reminding myself that I had abdicated my self-authority, ad now is time to take it back. I take these moments as reminders that I must be my own authority in every single breath, or else somebody else will do it for me, and I do not want anyone to author my Life for me, as it will never be what’s best for me/best for all unless I take the self-responsibility to do it myself within/as self-equality as all as one as equal.

           

Day 1- Disbelief

7 years? What! Can I do that?... Why not?

The pattern I am exposing within myself today is that of requiring a belief that I can do something based on my past, in order to believe that I can do it in the future. This is quite a dichotomy, because if I haven’t already done something (such as commit to a seven year process) then I don’t allow myself to believe that I can do it. So basically, the statement I am making  is that if I haven’t done it already, then I’ll never be able do it- Which means, I’ll never change, never grow, never learn and never expand, and never become anything more than exactly what I am right now. So, the question is, am I satisfied with me right now? HA! That is a good one. Even if I were satisfied with myself right now, then I would still be living in a world where billions suffer. This I will never be satisfied with. But the truth is that, No, I am not satisfied with myself as who and what I am in this moment. There’s a lot that needs to change within me, and within the world. So to make the statement that ‘I’m done,’ ‘I cannot change,’ by allowing my past and my belief of what I am capable of to dictate who I am is a total giving up and giving in. I refuse to give up or give in, so the only option left is to walk. One foot in front of the other, through the bullshit, till it’s done. I will commit to this seven year process

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base my decisions on past experiences, wherein I look to the safety of the past in order to walk into the future, instead of realizing that this is a self-defeating pattern that causes me to stagnate, to live in the past of memories and experiences, thus limiting myself to only be what I already am, and to project in to the future with fear instead of living right Here, in the present moment where I have the power to determine me, who I am, what I do and what I am capable of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear walking into an unscripted future wherein I move myself as self-direction because I have taught myself/learned to rely on/abdicate myself to the comforts of the mind, thus giving away my self-directive principle instead of standing as myself, and making the statement that I move me, I decide.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive that I am not capable of doing or being more than what I ever thought I could do or be, when I have never in fact pushed myself to realize my full potential, but have instead remained within my comfort zone and made it who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive a task (this task) is ‘too much’ before I fully commit myself to walk it through in its entirety within the realization that it is not any more tedious or more time consuming than the way I am living right now, which involves procrastination, avoidance, preoccupation and the like- which are wastes of time which I will replace with actual effective living which, when accumulated over time, builds, expands, masters and perfects.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop myself before I even try, thus establishing an automated pattern of self-defeat, instead of taking the time to learn what it is to commit and see it through to the end, which will establish a pattern of self-trust in my living application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop myself with distraction, preoccupation, procrastination and avoidance instead of making the ultimate decision to stand absolute.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the loss of the indulgence of ego and personality of the mind as self-interest, and because of that fear I do not stand, but rather diminish me within my own isolated mind where I don’t have to consider anything or anyone but me, instead of actually standing and re-asserting my decision to stand in every breath until it’s done.

I commit myself to living Here, in the present moment, and to face all that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as I present myself to me in moments, thus gifting myself the opportunity to see who and how I’ve accepted and allowed me to be and become, in order to correct myself and my living application to self-honest, actual living.

I commit myself to this self-correction by committing to this seven year process of daily writing, exposing, forgiving and correcting, because I see, realize and understand that there is no other way around facing me but head on.

I commit myself to self-movement, wherein I move me, I direct me as the self-directive principle of me through any and all resistances that will inevitable arise throughout my self-transformation because I have learned and taught myself to become comfortable in not changing.

I commit myself to breathe through the resistance to changing, and to constantly and continuously direct me despite any and all resistances.

I commit myself to constant, consistent application.

I commit myself to abandoning my comfort zone, and to push myself to not stop testing my own limits in order that I may realize my full potential.

I commit myself to fully walk through the tasks I place in front of me, by fully investigating and correcting the self-created patterns of procrastination, avoidance and preoccupation of which I have become used to and comfortable with, in order to, over time, correct myself to actual effective self-honest living, through the use and application of self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I commit myself to actual standing and to, without fear, assert myself within my decision to stand in each breath that I breathe.