Day 15- Anger Reactions

Today I reacted in anger when someone grew angry towards me, because I said something that the person was sensitive about. The person looked me right in the eyes and confronted me. I feared the confrontation, and instead of standing up from within that fear I grew angry. I projected this anger onto the person instead of taking self-responsibility for it by realizing that I am only angry at myself for not sticking up for myself due to fear of confrontation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak haphazardly, using many words without considering their consequences and impact upon those around me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak words without considering whether or not I can stand by them eternally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a conversation because I found it funny, somewhat at the expense of another person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger and project it on to another, using the excuse that THEY aren’t taking responsibility for their emotions/reactions and are projecting onto me, when I am in fact doing this very thing myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for my emotions/feelings/reactions in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger towards another instead of realizing that I am only angry with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear confrontation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for fearing confrontation instead of standing up from within that fear and changing it.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stand by the words I speak/speak words I can stand by.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing up for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear confrontation because I fear I won’t stand up for myself and will thus end up frustrated and disappointed in myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be or become frustrated and disappointed with myself when I don’t stand up for me, instead of facing myself in forgiveness, figuring out why I feel these things, rescripting myself and walking the change over time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing up for myself because of uncertainty, wherein I feel uncertain whether what I am standing up for and as is valid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/need/desire to stand up to things/issues/situations in which I am standing up from within an energetic experience, wherein I am standing up in defense of my own ego/ideas/limitations/beliefs, instead of standing up as myself as Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access all the memories I have of times I allowed others to use me/walk on me in moments where I did not stand up for me, wherein I become angry at myself instead of forgiving myself in order that I may never allow myself to go into inferiority again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act thoughtlessly, not without thought, but within too much thought, wherein I become distracted and ‘lost in thought’ when and as I act, so that if someone questions what I’ve done or why I’ve done something, it takes me a long time to remember why I did it, and in the time it takes me to remember I go into guilt and inferiority, just assuming that I’ve done something wrong, this creates a sense of self-victimization where I feel wrongly accused,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within inferiority and self-victimization which brings me into an energetic state within which I think/believe/perceive I am weak and I can’t stand up, instead of breathing through it within the realization that it is not real, only a self-created delusion that limits, diminishes and does not serve me.

I realize that when I speak words I cannot stand by, it’s like a form of self-sabotage which creates situations that I can get called out in, which sends me into all sorts of reactions such as anger, self-victimization and inferiority. I realize this is completely avoidable, and I commit myself to act within presence and awareness oneness and equality, in every moment.

I realize it is not necessary to stand up from within energetic experiences where I am feeling ‘defensive’ and standing up for and as my mind/ego/ideas, I commit myself to be self-honest in these situations.

I realize that when I act ‘thoughtlessly’ I will create a situation or guilt and inferiority for myself, I commit myself to bring myself back to awareness in these moments, wherein I bring myself back to awareness in order that  I may see what I’ve done so as not to repeat it.

I realize that the weakness of inferiority and self-victimization is not real, and I commit myself to stand up from within these energetic experiences until I have proven to me that they no longer exist within and as me.

When and as I see myself not standing up for me, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to awareness by doing a self-check. I check to see if I am defending my mind/ego, to see if I have acted thoughtlessly or spoken words that I cannot stand by, I check to see if I am in inferiority or self-victimization and I stop my participation from within these patterns. I remind myself to remain self-honest and humble, so that I may either walk through my consequences without reaction, or stand up for myself as life.