Day 52- Fear of Being Self-Honest Within my Interactions
with Others
It is
one thing to practice self-honesty within oneself, and another to live it
outwardly within and through interactions with others. You never know how
others will take it, and this unpredictability scares me a little bit within
and as my mind. Looking at this point, I see a fear of the unknown, which is
funny because I have identified the fear of the unknown within myself without
realizing that the fear of how others will react is also the fear of the
unknown within self. For example- if there’s conflict, will I stand? Will I
remain self-honest or will I fall and compromise myself? Will I give in to
reactions, or will I remain stable? So, I’m going to have a closer look at this
fear so that I can walk within and as it and through it so that I have more of
a handle on what it is and how it works.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to fear the reactions of others to and towards me as I walk my
process towards self-honesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to fear whether or not I will stand up in a given situation,
within the anticipation that I may fall.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to be/become influenced by my future projections/anticipations,
instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that the only way I can and will and
am walking this point towards stability is by walking through it over and over
until I stand no matter what, which involves walking within and through
interactions with others within self-honesty in the moment, over and over and
over until I stop wavering, stop compromising myself and stop falling bck into
the mind of reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions etc…
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to not trust myself Here in the moment..
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to not realize the investment of time that is required to
develop self-trust.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to want/need/desire self-trust as an experience of self-trust,
instead of living within and as self-trust as Who I Am in every moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to sabotage myself by going into ego within interactions with
others.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to want/need/desire to know all the answers and fix the problem
instead of taking it moment by moment and walking it through from beginning to
end.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to fear I will not stand within and as my interactions with
others because I have, for so long, placed my power within and as others,
instead of standing within and as my power as self-worth, self-acceptance,
self-love, wherein I have accepted and
allowed myself to judge and define myself based upon others.
I forgive myself for Not accepting
and allowing myself to stand as self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love, and
I see, realize and understand that in order to live myself as these things I
must stand self-honestly and express myself self-honestly and fearlessly in
each moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to suppress myself due to my fears of how others may react to me
if I am outwardly self-honest within and as my expression.
I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to compromise myself through self-suppression because of and
due to the fear of how others mat react outwardly toward me.
I commit myself to develop myself
within and as self-trust through constantly, consistently and diligently
pushing myself to express myself fearlessly and self-honestly in each moment
until I stand no matter what.
I commit myself to stand within
and as self-acceptance and self-worth, within and through pushing myself
constantly, consistently and diligently to assert myself to and towards my
self-living, standing and breathing within and as presence and awareness and
self-honesty in each moment, thus taking myself back from all the parts of me I
have separated myself into and as.
I commit myself to walking this
process, my process as myself, towards self-realization, despite my projected
fears of what others may think.
When and as I see that I am going
into self-suppression due to fear of others outward reactions to/towards me, I
stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back into awareness by grounding myself
with and as breath, within the realization that nothing and no one can take
away who or what I am. I realize that this fear of confrontation is just a character I play, an is not who I am as Life, but rather a belief developed over time, which is ont real.
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