This is a continuation of my past blogs:
Herein I am continuing self-forgiveness statements on my reactions within a situation which I am tracing back through peeling back the layers within and through self-forgiveness so that I may understand and delete the character/pattern from within and as me- thus interacting with parental figures from a starting point of equality and oneness instead of from the parent-child dynamic.
Self-Forgiveness on Reaction C:
Reaction C: Frustration. Thought: She’s trying to ‘help’ me complete a task by offering unneeded instructions with a lack of awareness, instead of actually assisting and supporting me in ways which consider the reality of the situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my desire for self-change on to a parental figure.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within and as frustration when a parental figure acts based on a starting point of unawareness, instead of seeing, understanding and realizing that in reality, I am frustrated with myself for acting from a starting point of unawareness, wherein I do not assist and support myself in ways which consider the reality of my situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge a parental figure with projected self-judgement, for acting from a starting point of unawareness, wherein I see, realize and understand that I do the very same thing- such as giving instructions when they are obviously not needed, such as when I will say or do something unnecessary for the sake of ‘going through the motions,’ or ‘keeping up appearances,’ when I’m actually not focusing or really interested at all, but trying to pretend like I am for the sake of those around me, instead of stopping, taking some breaths and reigning myself in so that I am present and aware within my interactions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interact with others while I’m in a mind possession, wherein I am completely in my mind and thus unfocused and unaware in actual physical reality, so while in self-interest I indulge in the energetic pursuits of the mind, I neglect physical reality and those within it who I am interacting with at the time, instead of stopping my internal experience and bringing myself back to awareness so that I can have an actual real interaction with another instead of wasting both of our time by being falsely present/interacting not as who I am, but within and as my mind, thus interacting self-dishonestly as a façade rather than directing myself within and through the interaction as who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that when a parental figure gives me instructions on how to do something which I obviously already know how to do, that it is because he/she thinks I am capable of doing it, instead of realizing that he/she is going through his/her own process and is in his/her mind, so it’s not about me nor how he/she perceives me and my capabilities, but rather him/her going through something of his/her own, and trying to play the façade and go through the motions, as I have done- by reacting to this behaviour I am making the statement that it is real and I accept and allow it, thus I will continue to accept and allow it within me, therefore, I see, realize and understand that the only thing I can do in self-honesty is to breathe through the reactions/energy that may come up and walk through the situation without participating thus- being in it but not of it- so I can assist and support myself to not repeat this pattern within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to interpret ‘help’ from a parental figure as a message/sign/indicator that he/she doesn’t think I can do it on my own/without help.
To be continued...