This is a continuation from my last two blogs. The first describes the situation, the second begins the self-forgiveness statements.
Self-Forgiveness on Reaction B:
Reaction B: Annoyance. Thought: He/She is on auto pilot- not even present with me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to/towards a parental figure when I perceive him/her to be on ‘autopilot’ because I take it personally when he/she behaves in this way because I assume it is about me: that he/she is behaving this way because of how he/she feels about me or how important I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself based upon how I perceive a parental figure to feel about me and how important I am, as if he/she has the sole power over my value, worth and importance, instead of giving myself that power, and giving myself the value, worth and importance that is equal to and one with all that is Here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when I perceive a parental figure to be distracted.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that the amount of attention a parental figure gives to me is equal to and indicative of my value, worth and/or importance.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my self-judgment on to parental figures when I perceive them to be on ‘autopilot’ wherein I perceive them to be occupied in the mind and not present Here with me, which is really me judging myself for my own lack of presence wherein I am not Here with myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within annoyance to my the self-judgement that I project on to and towards parental figures, instead of realizing that I am looking into a mirror reflection of myself, and taking that moment as an opportunity to see what I have accepted and allowed, in order that I may change it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within and as annoyance to the thought that when a parental figure is on auto pilot and is not present with me it is personal and corresponds to my value, wherein I am apparently not valued enough to be Here with, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am not even yet able to be Here with myself, thus do not live my self-value as Life within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within annoyance when a parental figure reflects me back to myself, instead of taking responsibility for myself and directing myself to Here in every moment, operating wholly in every moment within presence and awareness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my value upon how a parental figure acts towards me, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be/become annoyed when he/she does not validate the characters that I have created and prefer, he/she rather validates the characters I no longer associate with and have thus supressed within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within and as annoyance at the fact that my a parental figure’s tone of voice can trigger myself to become a character which I have judged, thus I end up judging myself when I exist within and as this character, which I think/believe/perceive I have no control over stepping into/out of, instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that through self-forgiveness, writing and self-corrective application I can effectively delete this character from within and as me I order to eventually delete all my characters and walk Here as Life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the character of ‘poor, neglected child’ to exist within and as me- which I created and manifested because of and due to years of interpreting other’s behaviour from the starting point of taking it all personally. So instead of seeing/realizing/understanding the situation in this world and the enslavement of mankind by simply observing myself and seeing within myself how I am/was in fact enslaved, I perceived reality instead as my movie where I am the star character and everything is about me- thus when others did not treat me like the star I developed this character to avoid seeing/realizing/understanding myself and others and kept myself enslaved and limited to limitless characters of and as myself as the mind.