Day 61- Am I but a Reactive Child Trapped Within a Woman's Body (self-forgiveness statements continued)

This is a continuation of my past blogs:

Day 57- http://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-57-am-i-but-reactive-child-in.html

Day 58- http://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-58-am-i-but-reactive-child-trapped.html

Day 59- http://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-59-am-i-but-reactive-child-trapped.html

Day 60- http://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-60-am-i-but-reactive-child-trapped.html

Herein I am continuing self-forgiveness statements on my reactions within a situation which I am tracing back through peeling back the layers within and through self-forgiveness so that I may understand and delete the character/pattern from within and as me- thus interacting with parental figures from a starting point of equality and oneness instead of from the parent-child dynamic.

Reaction D:  Anger. Thought: my creator/a parental figure should apply his/herself to the utmost to be present and aware with me, and do everything in his/her power to support me to empower myself and grow- yet this does not happen, because here I am- unsatisfied with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see/perceive/believe a parental figure as something supernatural because that is what created me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect a parental figure to have everything figured out because as a child I believed adults knew everything, and instead of taking responsibility to get to know myself and assist and support myself to learn, experiment and explore, I waited to be told what to do and who and how to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my self-responsibility to parental figures, wherein I expected them to run my life and tell me exactly what to do, instead of standing up and living me for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within and as anger towards the fact that no parental figure is perfect, nor a living example of perfection that is able to teach me how to live for real, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that all are innocent within their ignorance (yet responsible for self-change).

Self-Forgiveness on Reaction E:

Reaction E: Anger, Thought: Parental figures put themselves last, after the child’s needs are met. However, I am no longer a child, and do not need anyone to sacrifice themselves for me. I interpret this behaviour as the parental figure not believing I am capable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger towards my self-projection wherein I am well aware of the fact that I put myself last and try/attempt to be responsible for everyone else before my own well-being because it is easier to put myself last and look at others than it is to actually look at myself and take responsibility for myself and change me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing anger reactions to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with myself instead of seeing, realizing and understanding the importance of changing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself on to a parental figure instead of looking at the points within myself and changing them, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my self-responsibility on to a parental figure wherein I become angry when he/she accepts and allows him/herself to participate in abdication instead of seeing that I am doing the very same thing thus ensuring the repeating cycle of not taking responsibility within both myself and the parental figure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put myself last and placing being responsible for others above my own well-being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use placing myself last and taking responsibility for others as an excuse to not face and change myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use excuses and distractions to not look at me and see the reality of myself in terms of who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

To be continued...