Showing posts with label succeed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label succeed. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Day 129- Programming Myself to Succeed


This is a continuation from yesterday's blog "Organic Robot Programmed to Fail"
Within this blog I am exploring and investigating the concept of pursuing ‘likes’ and avoiding ‘dislikes’ as a way of living, which so many of us do, but mostly to our own detriment (continued from this series: Blog Series- Becoming an Effective Student ). This topic was brought up in relation to the difficulties I experience while studying, wherein I have realized that over time, I have basically programmed myself, through a system of likes and dislikes, to want to give up and fail (easy way out= like), instead of fully commiting, applying myself and doing my best (difficult way= dislike). I have seen that this is not set in stone, likes and dislikes are choices, programmed over time through reptition of thoughts/words/deeds, mostly done in unawareness. Thankfully, this can be re-done, over time, in awareness, AS awareness, to actual real-time living Here.
how to become life
 
Herein, I continue "de-programming" by writing self-forgiveness and deriving self-corrective statements and self-commitments therefrom, essentially, exposing myself to myself, in order that I may know what, where, when, why and  how to change:

 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that life is about pursuing ‘likes’ and avoiding ‘dislikes’ instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that there is only self-interest in that. There is no principle of equality and oneness within each individual pursuing their ‘likes’ and avoiding their ‘dislikes’,there is no consideration for the effect one’s life is having upon another within this, there is only the consequence of the world we see today: each man for himself, pursue moneyand indulgence, and avoid sufferingand poverty.

I commit myself to learn through practice, self-introspection, and actual practical application, what it is/ how to be a human being that is capable of seeing past the self-interest of ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ to the bigger picture of the whole, where each one is an equal participant, and each action has an outflow/consequence on the rest, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, because it is the seemingly insignificant that make up the ‘bigger picture’ as Life and each one’s participation within it makes up the participation of humanity within/as this organism called earth.
I commit myself to function free from the ‘default mode’ of pursuing ‘likes’ and avoiding ‘dislikes’, in order that I may function based on decisions made in awareness, thus creating myself in awareness so that I am aware of the results that I am creating as myself in order to make sure those results are aligned with my best interest/the best interest of all.
When and as I see that I am mindlessly pursuing ‘likes’ or avoiding ‘dislikes’, signified by undirected behavior where my decision making ability is essentially ‘turned off’, wherein- my actions are automatic/looking for escape/preoccupying myself/’killing time’, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-direction within the realization that there is only self-interest in this behavior, and the ‘self’ that is having its interests served is not ME as Life, but rather the experience of myself as internal energetic experiences within/as the mind as endless cycles/habits/patterns that lead nowhere but to slow and eventual degradation of myself, my physical, and my potential. I take a step towards becoming the living realization of self-direction by pulling myself out of the automation of pursuing ‘likes’ and avoiding ‘dislikes’ and focus on my breath until there is no more movement, wherein I can step in as Myself, and take direction, and direct myself to let go of the want/need/desire to pursue ‘likes’ and avoid ‘dislikes’ and instead focus on whatever it is I should be doing, rather than what I simply ‘want’ to be doing, because I ‘like’ doing it, or rather than avoid doing it, simply because I have judged it as something that I ‘dislike’, because, as I have already brought through to realization, my ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ do not serve me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that pursuing ‘likes’ and avoiding ‘dislikes’ lacks any kind of
process of self-understanding, nor does it involve the understanding that sorting out problems and taking responsibility is something most all people will not ‘like’ doing, within themselves or the world. Therefore, when we live to only experience our ‘likes’, we condemn ourselves and generations to come to a world deprived of any real life or living, only a world of war as each fights for their own lives/likes.
I commit myself to thoroughly understanding myself and what makes me tick, including the causes for my ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’, in order that I may not be directed by some unknown part of me such as a hidden fear/belief/desire that would direct me in moments of unawareness- creating results as consequences that would not be aligned with my best interest and therefore seem like they were not created by myself, when in fact I am responsible for everything I experience within me, which is why common sense would dictate I become aware of every part of me- so that I can take that responsibility and not be victimized- but rather empowered by taking self-responsibility.
I commit myself to push myself to do the things that I have programmed myself not to like, such as being diligent, disciplined, aware and self-responsible, because I have judged them and defined them as being ‘work’ and ‘hard’ and therefore I have ‘disliked’ them, thus I commit myself to walk through my judgment of ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ and create a path aligned with the principles of oneness and equality with/within myself and all that’s Here
When and as I see that I don’t understand why I ‘m doing a certain thing or acting or feeling a certain way yet I am being directed by pursuing a ‘like’ or avoiding a ‘dislike’, I stop, and I breathe. I take a moment to consider what it is I could be feeding or avoiding, and I stop. I bring myself back to self-direction and I give myself the opportunity to identify and face exactly the point I am avoiding, or withdraw from the point I am feeding.
To learn these self-supportive writing tools FOR FREE visit: DIP LITE
I will continue to write out self-commitments and self-corrective applications in my next blog.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Day 115- Fully Committing to my Studies (pt 7)

          In my last blog I gave a little update-type of post, and within this blog I am continuing with the ‘getting out of the work’ character, for context visit:



      
         This is a character I go into and have gone into since the beginning of my academic career. It is an actual manifestation of myself as one who will do anything to not do the work that is required of me. This character is triggered by all sorts of

thoughts/feelings/emotions/beliefs/memories etc… that emerge within me when there is a difficult task, in this case, schoolwork which I find hard, thus activating this entire character within and as me that I have to fight with in order to move myself to get down to just doing the damn work.


          It’s really not that complicated, yet I have made it so for myself over the years, decades now even, and so now here I am dealing with it. Untangling the web, tracing back each thread to its source so that I can take out the knots and kinks that bind me in order to re-create myself as a self that is capable of self-support.



Continuing herewith, the imagination dimension:
Yet another dimension of a character. When and as I am faced with schoolwork, what things seem to ‘pop’ into my head that can be classified as imaginings:
1) I imagine myself starting the work, and then effortlessly zipping right through it without the least bit of effort, and then getting on with my life.

          The consequence of this is that it is obviously not in any way aligned with reality, therefore when I actually do sit down to do the work, and I read about what is going to be required of me, as soon as I see that it’s not going to be easy and effortless I’ll have a reaction. So, what I am not considering is the amount of
time that will be involved in doing the work, and the multitude of steps, both forward and backward, that inevitably take place within my studies and getting through the work.
2) I imagine an assignment I have to do, then I think about another assignment I have for another class, and then I think about the exams, and eventually I have compressed time and I’m now looking at all the assignments I’m going to have to get through and it just seems like this insurmountable wall of work that I’m looking at.

           The consequence of this is that when I do sit down to do the work, it feels like I’m moving so increadibly slowly, and that I’m barely sratching the surface of what I’m going to have to get through in the next week/month/semester ad it’s like “how am I going to do this all?”
Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to imagine my schoolwork as being super easy and seeing and visualizing myself ‘zipping’ through it in no time at all, wherein, when it comes time to actually sit down and do the work, I find myself feeling overly discouraged when and as I face a point that will require extra time and effort- more so than I had planned for within my unrealistic imagining of the event.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an unrealistic scenario in my head, wherein all my schoolwork seems extremely easy and quick, when I know in fact that this is not so, yet I would sabotage myself by imagining such a scenario within a judgment of the class being easy, or myself being smart and experienced and more advanced in my studies than this class is designed for.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge some classes as easy, when I know through having learned from experience that even introductory courses require learning concepts, memorizing information, reading lengthy texts and understanding and integrating new information, and can be just as difficult, or require just as much application as the more advanced classes I have taken.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as more advanced because I have taken more difficult courses than the ones I am currently in, wherein I lead myself to imagine that these courses should be easier, when in fact I have seen that such a tendency to imagine the work being easy for me has only ever created the opposite effect, because I approached the work within the belief that I would not have to apply myself as much.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach any work within the belief that I will not have to apply myself as much, within the assumption that applying myself takes more effort, when in fact applying myself only requires me to be present while I am working, and not applying myself is simply me allowing myself to be lazy, to be preoccupied, to be distracted and to be 'up in my mind' fantasizing and day dreaming which is always avoiding real life and creating more work and more consequences for myself. Thus, I see, realize and understand that fully applying myself is a skill that becomes ‘easier’ as I practice it, while avoiding applying myself always creates more work for myself soon after.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try/attempt to justify for myself reasons to be lazy and avoid applying myself, such as ‘I have already done the hard stuff’ and ‘this work will be easier,’ instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that within approaching work from a starting point of equality and oneness, all work is the same in terms of Who I Am within doing the work, as I will not accept Who I Am as lazy and as avoidance within anything I do, within this:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as Who I Am as equal and one with/as presence and awareness, diligence, patience and discipline within my starting point when and as I approach schoolwork.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand within a starting point of laziness and avoidance within doing my schoolwork/approaching doing work.
To be continued….
To learn these self-supportive writting tools visite DIP LITE
For the entire series