This blog is a continuation from:
The following are self-commitments and self-corrective statements that relate to the
self-forgiveness
from this blog: Day 116- Fully Committing to my Studies (pt 8)
I
I
commit myself to stop my addiction
to the stress/panic/anxious
energy
I derive from thinking
about up-coming assignments, tests and projects, by stopping myself from
following the thoughts that leads from one stress to the next to the next,
creating an insurmountable wall of work that I would never be able to do if it
were the reality of the situation, however, it is not the reality of the
situation, it is a complete self/mind-created wall created by compressing time
in my mind to bring all the work I have to do here to daunt me.
When and as I see
that I am creating stress/anxiety within myself by/through thinking about future
assignments I have to do, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to
stability by simply stopping my participation in the thought by breathing
through it within the realization that I am either busy working on the
assignment, or I am not working on the assignment, and if I am not working on
the assignment, there is then no need to be thinking/stressing about the
assignment/future assignments/all assignments I have yet to do. I see, realize
and understand that the stress, overwhelming-ness and anxiety I create will
only serve to diminish me and my ability to perform well during
tests/studying/working on assignments.I commit myself to eradicate myself of the ‘getting out of the work’ character, by stopping creating the work in my mind as something bigger than it is, within/through creating an energetic experience out of it, which I then react to within wanting to ‘get out of the work’, when I can instead stop the entire patterns from the beginning.
When and as I see that I am triggering the ‘getting out of the work’ character through starting to imagine all the work I have to do thus making it seem ‘big and impossible’ I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-directed movement in the physical through breath by reminding myself that I can choose to stop the entire pattern
play-out
by stopping my participation within/as these first thoughts that trigger the
entire cascade of thoughts. I see, realize and understand that it is
unnecessary to even ‘go there’, and that when I do ‘go there’, it is a form of
self-sabotage that keeps me from moving myself Here.
I commit myself to organizing myself within a schedule that works for me, by leaving myself enough time to work/study, and to actually apply myself within that given time, to do the best that I am able to do, within the understanding that I am continuously able to improve myself.
When and as I see that I am needlessly thinking about my schoolwork, and imagining it here all at once thus creating a sense of overwhelming-ness and stress within/as me, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to reality by reminding myself that I can only do one thing at a time, till it’s done, and I move myself to set a schedule wherein I set time a side to work, an within that time I do the work, and at other times I do not think/imagine scenarios about the work, within the realization that that is only self-sabotage and that is unacceptable because it only serves to limit/diminish/sabotage me.
I commit myself to bring myself back here, constantly, continuously and diligently until it is Who I Am, by remaining vigilant about what exactly is going on in my mind, so that I do not let my mind ‘get away with it’ in unawareness. In this:
I commit myself to take self-responsibility for my thoughts, so that they are not directing me, until I am able to direct myself as an aware choice in every moment.
When and as I catch myself as my mind creating experiences within/as me in unawareness, such as imagining about all my schoolwork thus creating anxiety and overwhelming-ness, I stop, and I breathe. I patiently bring myself back Here in breath and move myself as a self-directed choice to either do some work or do that which my environment requires of me in that given moment.
I commit myself to organizing myself within a schedule that works for me, by leaving myself enough time to work/study, and to actually apply myself within that given time, to do the best that I am able to do, within the understanding that I am continuously able to improve myself.
When and as I see that I am needlessly thinking about my schoolwork, and imagining it here all at once thus creating a sense of overwhelming-ness and stress within/as me, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to reality by reminding myself that I can only do one thing at a time, till it’s done, and I move myself to set a schedule wherein I set time a side to work, an within that time I do the work, and at other times I do not think/imagine scenarios about the work, within the realization that that is only self-sabotage and that is unacceptable because it only serves to limit/diminish/sabotage me.
I commit myself to bring myself back here, constantly, continuously and diligently until it is Who I Am, by remaining vigilant about what exactly is going on in my mind, so that I do not let my mind ‘get away with it’ in unawareness. In this:
I commit myself to take self-responsibility for my thoughts, so that they are not directing me, until I am able to direct myself as an aware choice in every moment.
When and as I catch myself as my mind creating experiences within/as me in unawareness, such as imagining about all my schoolwork thus creating anxiety and overwhelming-ness, I stop, and I breathe. I patiently bring myself back Here in breath and move myself as a self-directed choice to either do some work or do that which my environment requires of me in that given moment.
I commit myself to stop making that which goes on in my mind ‘real’ by participating within/as it and giving it my attention, and instead I commit myself to only deal with actual reality, not imaginary scenarios of insurmountable walls of work that don’t even exist in reality.
When and as I see that I am making anxiety and overwhelming-ness about school real by participating within/as it, giving it my attention and reacting to it, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to reality within the realization that that which is real is Here, tangible and doable, as it plays out over space-time and only accumulates when I participate within/as avoidance and procrastination, both of which are in my control to not participate within and as throughout my day. I see, realize and understand that it is possible to accumulate a lot of work, but it’s not necessary to stress about it if I haven’t done that- and even if I have, it’s still not necessary to react to it, but rather to simply work through it as I am able, walking through the consequences of procrastination/avoidance, and reminding myself not to repeat such patterns when/as the situation arises again.
I commit myself to wake up from the delusion that it is possible to ‘lose myself’ in the stress/anxiety I create, within the realization that I have the power to, at any moment, take a breath and bring myself back here, where the delusion would fall away in an instant, because I Am Here and have only ever been Here, proving the delusion was not and is never real.
When and as I see that I have created the experience of being ‘lost’ within anxiety/overwhelming-ness, I stop, and I take a breath to bring myself back Here, within the realization that such a delusional belief is an abdication of self-responsibility because it is making the statement that my mind is bigger/more complicated than Me, when in fact I am the creator of everything that goes on in my mind. I see, realize and understand that I am creating in every moment, and that if I am not present and aware I will create experiences that I do not understand, and thus it will seem like I am ‘lost’ within them. However, with self-investigation through writing, and through practising being present and aware in every moment, I am able to undo this experience, and to teach myself through understanding, how to NOT create it again.
To be continued…
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