Day 37 - Suppression

Day 37- Suppression

            I’m feeling quite ill tonight with what seems to be strep throat. I was given some perspective on this and it seems to be related to suppression, not speaking, not standing up for myself. When I look back on the past several weeks, I can see some instances when I could have stood up for myself more. When I look at why I don’t speak up/stand up for myself I see that I have this fear that, if I attempt to stand up for myself, but the other person doesn’t ‘submit’ or back down or listen to me, then I fall into the superiority/inferiority game where I end up submitting instead, and thus submitting myself instead of standing up for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear speaking/standing up for myself because I know that if it is no properly received, I will submit myself to the other.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stand up for myself because I don’t want to hurt the other or make them submit, so instead I submit myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sacrifice myself through submitting myself for the sake of another, which takes place within a superiority/inferiority where I submit due to participation in inferiority, or superiority wherein I ‘do it for them, so as not to hurt them.’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in superiority/inferiority games with other beings in my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to submit myself to another due to fear and inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to submit myself to another within superiority, wherein I play the martyr and sacrifice myself for something outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sacrifice myself for another instead of realizing I am not doing either of us any good within self-sacrifice.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself through not speaking up and not standing up for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear speaking up and standing up for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe that I am confused and unclear in times where I am to stand up for myself, thus giving me the excuse to not stand 'because I don;t know where I stand.'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses for myself to not have to stand up.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see through the self-created fog that I manifest when I am feeling/being confronted.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see clearly when I am being confronted.


When and as I see myself in a situation where I should stand up for myself but instead desire to go into suppression I stop, and  i breathe. I bring myself back into awareness by reminding myself not to play polarity games of superiority/inferiority and right/wrong.

I commit myself to free myself from the prison of fear to eventually be able to speak for myself and stand up for myself no matter what.

I commit myself to overcome and transcend all fear that is within me.

I commit myself to stop suppressing myself.